Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
gettinghelp101gettinghelp101
- Date posted
- 4y
Not trying to give reassurance but we all deserve to be confident in our identity. OCD or not. Of course itās important to accept uncertainty, but itās also okay to know who you are. It the hard moments where the anxiety is skyrocketing youāll feel like you wonāt and thatās okay. For me, I have always dreamed of having a husband and a family. Iām a girl btw. I know I truly donāt want that with a woman at all or any romantic/sexual relationship with a woman. The fear and doubt in HOCD definitely blurs the lines, you could have never wanted those things, even up to now you still have not once wanted those things. Thatās how I am, throughout the checking which IS NOT GOOD, I still never wanted those things. Donāt check though, please donāt. Nevertheless, what you want and how you feel doesnāt matter to HOCD. I believe that you know what the true, wholesome desires of your heart are. If you do have HOCD, you are going to have to go through ERP if you want to get better, Iām about to start. HOCD is so scary because sexuality is something that is so fluid. What Iām about to say is not to give you certainty, but it will help you think about things in a rational light. I read this idea somewhere and honestly, it makes sense. With whatever sex you genuinely are attracted to, how many times did you fear, panic, want to die, every time the thought of doing something with them came to your head? You probably didnāt feel any of those things because you truly and completely embrace being with that sex (the one you know for sure youāre attracted to). When you say your being forced into this, do you mean that the HOCD is trying to make you tell yourself your gay when you know youāre not? If thatās the case then bingo. It used to do that to me a lot and told me if I would just admit it, all of this would go away. But I was like why would I do that when I know Iām not? I knew if I admitted that I wouldnāt be telling the truth. I donāt know if this helps but I hope it does. Iāve had HOCD for around 7 months now. Itās gotten better as Iāve grown knowledge about it and about different ways to deal with it but itās still very much an issue in my everyday life. It doesnāt affect me all day everyday but some days it does. I hope this helps. I hope that one of the good things I can bring from this experience is that I can help others.
ibeatocdibeatocd
- Date posted
- 4y
Sexuality is...fluid? I am panicking.
Brad2517Brad2517
- Date posted
- 4y
Idk if this ever happened to you but I can get actually aroused by penises (im a guy) since this happened, like I feel nothing towards women anymore and all of a sudden penises get me aroused. Its hard to think this is HOCD
gettinghelp101gettinghelp101
- Date posted
- 4y
@ribeatsocd Iām SO sorry. I worded that terribly. Sexuality is only fluid for some people! Not for everyone. Itās for people who experience attraction at multiple points along the spectrum. I donāt consider myself to be sexually fluid. Donāt fear!!!!!!!
gettinghelp101gettinghelp101
- Date posted
- 4y
@gettinghelp101 I also meant that HOCD is hard because sexuality is seen as something that is so fluid
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
I don't know who I am now. My mind is telling me I want to be with a man and marriage etc.. I don't know where this has come from I've never thought of this before. I have never even kissed a guy. My feelings and thoughts are all over the place. I've had this going on for 17 years on and off. Last August it has got so bad I want to kill myself. Even if someone done a test and said you don't have hocd I wouldn't believe them I'm screwed š
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
@IreallyhateOCD I can relate to this mate. How old are you ?
Brad2517Brad2517
- Date posted
- 4y
@Ihateocd83 21
Ihateocd83Ihateocd83
- Date posted
- 4y
@IreallyhateOCD I'm 38 and it feels as tho I like penises. But this was only a thing last August after watching porn
RememberWhoYouAre. RememberWhoY...
- Date posted
- 4y
@ribeatsocd I dnt believe it is fluid. People nowadays say anything
gettinghelp101gettinghelp101
- Date posted
- 4y
Groinal responses are a thing. Not uncommon. Look it up!!! Iām sorry you are going through that. These forums may help
Brad2517Brad2517
- Date posted
- 4y
I appreciate the links a lot! But I just don't know what to make of anything. Everyone here knows they are straight deep down because they don't actually gwt aroused by this stuff. I have never wanted to be with a man, I have never wanted to have sex with a man, but I have always watched the penis when I watch porn. I assumed it was because I imagined it was me, but then I tried to masturbate to just a penis and got off with no trouble. So idk anymore. I can't just look at one and get hard, but if I masturbate to it I can get off. I can't get off to pics of women anymore since this thought started.
gettinghelp101gettinghelp101
- Date posted
- 4y
@IreallyhateOCD Iāve never looked at porn. Iāve done a lot of research and I know that doing that stuff makes people seriously more confused. Ifeel like anything can make us feel sexualized tbh. Idk I have constrasting feelings about things like that because I kind of feel that sometimes any kind of actual sexual experience has the power to arouse people. I really donāt know if Iām right or not thatās just how I feel. Look Iām around your age. I believe you when you say you donāt want those things. I would just stop the porn if you havenāt already. You will find yourself again even amidst this HOCD mess. Iāll say some prayers for you, Godās got you dude. Iām an idealist but I feel very passionate about taking my life back from this. I want the same for you too. We have a purpose in this life and it is not this. This all is a lot easier to say to others rather than just being stuck in my own head. Youāre 21 and you have your entire life ahead of you. Iām not an expert but I really donāt think your natural desires are that far away from you. Give yourself some time
gettinghelp101gettinghelp101
- Date posted
- 4y
gettinghelp101gettinghelp101
- Date posted
- 4y
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Anonymous123
- Date posted
- 24w
Can anyone tell me if this is normwl
Hi so I've been having a recent theme of soocd hocd. At the start I was all panicked and couldn't leave my house. Now all my emotions feel like they have turned off. It feels real now like I'm just in denial. It's bringing up memories from the past of shows I've watched or people I was friends with to try and prove the point or people I thought were pretty. It's saying you've only realised now cause you are comfortable as I had a difficult childhood. I feel no attraction towards men and can't remember if I ever have now even though I know I did. It's saying its all fake. I really am. Starting to believe it's real and I just feel depressed now. Am I going to have to leave my boyfriend who I planned my life with. It feels like life is going by and I'm stuck. I have no energy at all.
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geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 20w
Hocd is literally a clown in my head.
Like I canāt think straight. This is making me doubt everything Iāve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I donāt. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go āoh so you like it you must be gayā or the other one where Iām not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that Iāve had my whole life and my mind goes āsee now youāre not into them youāre gayā like itās so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or āa thing of the pastā. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and itās so weird. Today Iāve spent my whole day thinking about it like Iāve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just wonāt let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
Mags2002
- Date posted
- 17w
Soocd: need some response , is this even ocd?
I really dont know if it is ocd anymore I dont want certain sexual things with my bf anymore that i used to like When i envision it with a girl it is so easy to envision and it feels like i want that , that will give me the satisfaction This feeling is making me really question if i am still into men , desire men sexually Is this still ocd , i really dont know anymore , as it is a feeling it is too real
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