- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Well say you are straight, most of us with OCD will never know that. Why? Because we just don’t allow ourselves to know, everytime we get an answer it just gets gets twisted and then we are back to square one. There’s no way to know, because you can’t be sure of yourself anymore, but that’s not because you are what you are fearing it’s because you amplified the fear in your head and you are obsessing over it. But as for your question, that’s seeking reassurance. There’s no way to know but I can tell you one thing and that thing is that you just did a compulsion by asking that question. Just a warning for the future. I don’t know how long you have had this, but don’t do any research, if you have a question regarding OCD ask it here. A lot of malicious people don’t take us seriously and a lot of people trigger others on purpose but above all else you are probably hyper aware and almost everything can be a trigger in that kind of state. You have to accept the uncertainty, that’s the key to OCD. If all else fails then that’s the only way. And hopefully one day you forget all about it, or become more sure of yourself. But it’s really hard to do it alone, we are here to support you on this app but talk therapy doesn’t help in the long run you have to go about fixing this with therapy, preferably with a therapist but you can also go at it alone.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much! It has been a year since I had HOCD and I have been fighting alone. The cause was a story that made me question my sexuality and I feel like I am losing it. Sometimes I just want to brain wash those thoughts and live normally as the days before the OCD. 😔
- Date posted
- 4y
You “making sure”, is basically looking for reassurance. With OCD, there may be certain things that provide you relief, but it doesn’t last forever. OCD is never completely satisfied with an answer. It’s best to accept the uncertainty.
- Date posted
- 4y
So you mean that i have to accept the fact that my sexuality might gonna change?
- Date posted
- 4y
@You will be fine Yes. You're gonna have to accept your thoughts. If you reassure, it's gonna make feel okay for some days but you're gonna be back to square one after sometime and even worse. You've to break the cycle and accept your thoughts. The whole point is to live with uncertainty.
- Date posted
- 4y
@You will be fine And sexuality does change bub, that's something you're born with (not reassuring tho just providing information). It's just you've to simply accept it might or might not. Maybe or maybe not.
- Date posted
- 4y
@ribeatsocd Doesn't*
- Date posted
- 4y
@ribeatsocd Thank you so much! Deep down I knew I am not gay but as I see people who found out about their true sexuality later on ( like they were straight back then but suddenly they come out as other sexuality) and I just thought : "What if someday I would be like that?". Then, the cycle replays. I just don't like it when the thoughts appear 😔 it is so uncomfortable
- Date posted
- 4y
@You will be fine I understand you. But that's all we can do. I hate what this illness has turned me into but I'll be okay and so will you.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
- Date posted
- 22w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 20w
I am a 18 year old masc lesbian with a loving girlfriend for 1 year, and I have been lesbian for almost my whole life and I have never been attracted to men in any way. flash to my past, My ex girlfriend who used to identify as a lesbian had cheated on me with a man. Recently I saw this tiktok of this masc lesbian turn straight and my friends and girlfriend made jokes I am going to turn straight for my male best friend. My male best friend came over and he’s a great guy but I do not want him in any way. when him and i were hanging out my mind threw in a thought it was “What if i like him”, i came back home and i had the worst panic attack and i felt so sick, i cried and i cried. ever since that day I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts, i don’t want a man in any way, and i feel comfortable as a lesbian but these thoughts won’t stop and they become worse when i see people say being lesbian is a phase or that i haven’t met the right guy or i’ll change in the future. i just want these thoughts to stop, i don’t want to stop being a lesbian ever, i love women so much and i just want all of this to be over with. i do not want a man in any way and im tired of my thoughts doubting myself and i hate the “what ifs”, I just want to be my old self, I want to be happy with my girlfriend.
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