- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
girll I think ab this ALL THE FREAKING TIME LOL, I thought i was going crazy! but like maybe it’s a “side effect “ of hocd? 🤷♀️
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- 4y
I’m so glad someone else undestands it. I’m having such a bad moment right now so it’s so nice to see you relate. I have no idea if it’s a side effect. I’ve only seen 1 person say something similar on a forum a few years ago. She wrote that she started having thoughts like why do men even like women and it made her feel misogynistic and I was like YES me too
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- 4y
@b13 How long have you suffered with this theme?
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- 4y
@b13 If you don’t mind me asking
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- 4y
@b13 I’m having a rough time too :(( I feel like I’ll never be able to like men again. And I also doubt if I actually liked men at all. My worst fear rn is to not be attracted to guys at all ;(
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- 4y
@missbluesky 6 and a half years if it’s really OCD. I worry it’s not because I don’t have other themes (though sometimes I start worrying about gender) and because I’ve not been diagnosed because I’m too scared to talk about it.
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- 4y
@b13 I’ve stuffed for 7.5!! Off and on. Has yours been like that too?
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- 4y
@strawberry ice cream That’s my problem right now, I’m doubting if I ever liked a boy. (Typing that out the word boy gave me anxiety and I don’t know why). I just tried admitting to myself that I’m a lesbian and I felt so much anxiety and started crying but then I started worrying ‘what if the anxiety and the crying is because deep down I know it’s true’. But I still don’t know if it’s true. And now it’s been about 20 minutes and I’ve calmed down im thinking where’s the anxiety gone, like have I accepted it now? I don’t know what’s going on.
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- 4y
@b13 I was 12 when it started 😭
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- 4y
@missbluesky Yes 100%. I’ve had good times and bad times. My absolute worst time was exactly 2 years ago where I started self harming and considering suicide and I haven’t had a time as bad since then but it definitely comes and goes.
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- 4y
@missbluesky I was 15, now almost 22.
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- 4y
@b13 I literally relate to u so so much. This illness is so scary 😣
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- 4y
@strawberry ice cream It’s so confusing, I literally just need to know but it’s like I can’t trust myself. And I really worry that the fact that it’s been so long and the fact that I can’t stop thinking about it means something. And also why this theme? Why don’t I have other themes, surely that must mean it’s because there’s something I need to figure out about my sexuality. It’s so frustrating and upsetting
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- 4y
@b13 I literally have never related to something more. I worry especially because it started SO young for me.
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- 4y
@missbluesky I worry about that too. Like ‘15 seems like the age people would discover this about themselves so that must’ve been what happened’
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- 4y
@b13 Literally me except being 12
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- 4y
@missbluesky I was 12 too
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
I know I'm not attracted to children, there's no proof I am and no indication that I am. Yet why do I still get these sexual intrusive thoughts? Why do I still feel so uncomfortable? Why do I feel disgusting, distressed and confused when I get them? Why do I get them in the first place yet I still don't feel anxious enough? I'm really confused about this. I'm not going to do anything to a child or think of a child that way yet at the same time It gets all over in my mind. Is it just me like uncovering some attraction to children that was buried and where would it even come from I've always been attracted to men that are older than me (not like grandpas or something but 1-6 years older) so why the hell am I even getting these thoughts now? I'm genuinely so confused and I don't want this to happen. It feels I'm betraying everyone especially myself
- Date posted
- 10w
I feel like the thoughts and feelings are getting stronger, to the point where they feel like they are my own and that I want them and want them to happen. Recently I’ve even had feelings of ‘wanting to be gay’ and that I ‘don’t want to be straight’, or that being with a woman would be nice even though that’s literally the one thing I don’t want otherwise I wouldn’t be constantly thinking about it day after day surely and if I wanted it I would just know? I feel numb and sick and terrified that I’ll just be what I’ve feared all this time. Why does my brain do this. I feel like I’ve lost so much already, I couldn’t concentrate on university work and I’ve had to delay my degree for a year, I’ve lost my purpose, and I feel so ashamed that I can’t tell anyone the real reason for it (I just told everyone the course was too much stress and was causing me anxiety) and it just feels like it’s getting worse to the point that it’s actually coming true, and I’m going to have to leave my boyfriend because I can’t be with him anymore. Why do the thoughts sometimes feel good? Why does it feel like real attraction? Why why why does it feel like DISAPPOINTMENT with the idea of never being with a woman wtf this is literally what I don’t want and never have? Even just writing that out my brain is telling me ‘it is’ and ‘I’m lying’ and I just can’t even believe myself anymore. I’ve tried telling myself the whole maybe maybe not but it just doesn’t work. It feels like if I accept I like woman I’ll want to be with one and leave him. Why does the idea of being with a man not fill me with excitement like it used to why do labels terrify me I genuinely just want to give up I still haven’t even told anyone about this cause I just feel like they won’t understand and that they will just think I’m struggling with my sexuality and the worst thing is I don’t even know what I want anymore cause of the thoughts and feelings I don’t know what to believe what if I am actually just struggling with my sexuality cause nothing feels right anymore
- Date posted
- 10w
Why whenever I feel like my attraction to the opposite gender (female) is back, I get hit with depression and my mind (OCD) saying no you don’t or you use too…
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