Hi, I’m new here but wanted to take the leap and try this out. I have had OCD since about 4 years old. Right now I’m having a hard time and would appreciate hearing from other people who go through what I do to help me feel a bit better because I always feel like no one around me gets what I go through. I have been with my partner for 10 years with lots of crazy ups and downs, probably more than your average relationship. My fiancé used to be a heroin addict at the time we met, but for awhile I had no idea. Later on of course it came out because something like that is hard to conceal for a long period of time. Anyways, during the whole thing was traumatizing, he made horrible decisions but we were so good and compatible with one another when drugs weren’t ruining everything so he finally went to rehab to get better for himself, his son, & I after 2 years of having enough. He healed and did all the work and has been clean and sober for almost 5 or 6 years now. I was left though with a lot of trauma and OCD triggers and when we began our relationship again with him sober I was in a depressed state & scared because I was so afraid he would relapse and I worried and worried myself to death that our lives would go back to how bad it was when he was at his worst. Now I wake up every morning with anxiety because somedays I will have a hard time feeling while I’m with him due to depression or anxiety, I’m hoping, and I start to flip out that I might be falling out of love. I even had a therapist say “maybe you just need to accept it” not understanding ROCD. That caused me to have even more anxiety and be worse ever since. So just curious if anyone else goes through long stages of numbness or not being attracted due to depression, anxiety or OCD with the person your with. It makes me feel SO guilty all day everyday because I don’t think it’s my OCD, my brain keeps thinking it’s me and I fell out of love. :(