- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
I know it can be tough, but you can get through this! Thoughts are just thoughts! Try and get with a therapist!!!!! Stay well!
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for your comment. I think the same, but a part of my brain don't :( it's hard
- Date posted
- 4y
@Lizzie Scheavi I completely understand! Just know that your not alone and that you can get better! Prayers for you!
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi, Lizzie. I am the same age as you and I go through something pretty much similar to you. Same theme, same type of event too, only for me it was on YouTube. It sucks. It sucks that disturbing things can be found on the internet, and on Instagram, it can be posted freely. Sorry you had to see whatever it was you saw. You definitely don't have to name any specifics of what it was. I hope you are getting better. You also did the right thing in trying to report things like that because those are real lives at risk and from the looks of the comments, people did not care. It sucks.
- Date posted
- 4y
It's really sucks. Now I'm totally traumatized. I just wanted to see nice clothes, but those sick people were using the hashtag (in short videos on IG) to post this. It's heartening to see you're the same age as me. Thank you for replying me. Sorry for my bad english. Stay safe
- Date posted
- 4y
@Lizzie Scheavi Yeah, there are tags and codes out there that can lead people into a downfall of messed up stuff online. Places like Reddit and adult sites have this all the time. I would advice you stay away from those sites honestly. You should limit your use of social media as best you can while you're at it. The only things that cause me stress in my life are anything sexual or social media. Social media has grown to do a number on our society both positively and negatively. You stay safe as well.
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 Thanks for the advice, I had downloaded Reddit, but I won't use it anymore (I wanted to find something about OCD). Social media makes me anxious as hell. I just use YouTube and Twitter, but after my OCD turned to POCD I don't even connect anymore. Now I'm only 44 minutes on my cell phone. Sexual things make me feel bad. I think I'm traumatized. When I was younger I had HOCD and I remember that I was so confused and lonely. I was improving my social interactions, but I became even more antisocial. I followed you, you are a good person and you helped me, I hope you fight your demons. U can talk with me always! :)
- Date posted
- 4y
Wow, 44 minutes a day on your phone? Throughout the entire day? What's your secret? I'd love to know. I would be extremely careful with Twitter. Even worse things could be found on there and there's little to no moderation handled over there. Honestly, I recommend that you cut the app out completely but I'm assuming you have good reason to use it. For me, YouTube has become a little draining and I thought this was the only platform of social media that was fine for me. I've been trying to limit my use on Instagram a lot more, but it's hard when you have contacts on there. This app along with YouTube and Discord as well. Excessive use just gets so exhausting. It's not really anxiety that's the problem but just the idea of being sucked into your screen all day long. I'd say I've been traumatized myself due to pornography. I've discovered it when I was only 13. 11, technically but I wasn't diving deep into it at the time. I didn't know sexual things made you feel bad too, it makes me feel bad pretty much all the time. It's the only thing I get stressed about, so I just neglect those feelings the best that I can. It's hard, but I guess in a way self discipline helps? I haven't seen any of that filth in the last 100 days. I'm proud that I can make a decision to say no, you know what I mean? It feels rewarding. I'll follow you back! You come off as a very nice person and you seem to understand me quite well. I wish you nothing but the best, friend. You're doing great. :)
- Date posted
- 4y
my secret: I got depressed and didn't get out of bed lol. Twitter is toxic. I started using it because I interacted with the reader community and discovered news (especially in quarantine). On Twitter I saw funny things, but there is a lot of sexualization. I don't like Instagram, but my friends are there, so... (I hate TikTok) I found out about pornography with 11 too. I've never been one to watch these videos, but I'm curious and when I find something, however disturbing it is, I have to check it out, and be even more shocked. That was my mistake. In my case, I find this type of content in the books. You're a boy so, I suppose, you don't read books on Wattpad. There are terrible! Disgusting stories about disgusting fetishes. I was in my teen years when I saw this. So bad feelings... And now, when I say "I don't like hot scenes" people say I'm crazy or silly. I'm tired of this sexualized world. OMG, you don't even know how "refreshing" is read about your fights, and, as I can see, you're winning. Your comment shows me that I'm not alone. You're a nice person. You're a great guy, and of course a friend. I'm send you a virtual hug (forget COVID-19 for a while).
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh. Sorry to hear that you've been depressed. I've had those moments in my earlier days of OCD. It was awful. I remember when I was in the bed the entire day and that just didn't feel like me. I couldn't keep going like that, even though it felt like nothing was worth interacting with. What a horrible feeling. :( And yeah, Twitter is indeed toxic. I've only used it to look at one page and never used it again. There really is no point in my opinion. I dislike Instagram as well. Honestly I don't like any social media at this point. Guess we have the same reason to use Instagram. I'm not familiar with Wattpad haha. This all started with cartoons that I used to watch.. that and websites that would depict all kinds of fictional things. I really hate that I didn't see anything wrong with this at the time. I really hate remembering this stuff and I wish I could just repress them out of my head. It really disturbs me and makes me feel bad. I was going to make a post about how much I don't like that this world has become so sexualized, but I decided to journal it instead. There's just so many things that are normalized that I just can't accept in that regard. It's so complicated. I'm not too open about not liking sexual scenes anywhere, but friends of mine do understand at an adequate level just like I do. It's nice to see that I'm not the only one, you know? You're a sweet woman and a great friend too. And trust me, I wish covid would be completely erased from the world. ⊂(´・◡・⊂ )∘˚˳°
- Date posted
- 4y
Thanks for your words, it helped me a lot. You are nice and resilient boy. We will win this battle :) :)
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
I got diagnosed with OCD (variant POCD) about 3/4 yeats ago. Lately I've been really confused and makes me uncomfortable this ideas that I've had dreams in my sleep where I have romantic/sexual interactions with my older sibling— I know it's disgusting, and I don't know what to do. Recently I got a boyfriend after years of being without a partner, and he makes me so happy along my friends, but sometimes at random points of the day I have this episodes with minors or my sibling, and the ones with him start to go heavier when I'm at home or alone. The first thing that comes to mind for me to do is always how much I don't wanna live, harm myself or what is my purpose at this point (22fem) having this problems. I feel weirded out when I pass them over, and suddendly think about not giving them the atention because how important they are in a negativa way. I'm just anxious writing this, I need help. Is someone living the same? How do you work on it? I will always be like this from now? — thanks in avance and sorry for mistakes, english isn't my first language
- Date posted
- 11w
(Long post warning) Hi, I’ve been struggling with severe OCD for six years now. it started in 2019 with my theme being getting sick/emetophobia. it devastated my life. I almost didn’t graduate high school from it. I remember washing my hands for three hours one day until they were nearly bloody while crying and asking why I could not stop doing it. I remember id have to write and rewrite sentences when I did my English homework and that’s why I nearly failed that class. I remember how I would spend up to thirty minutes to an hour pacing the halls of my apartment while my mom was asleep until I neutralized the thoughts about throwing up and I could finally go to bed. I don’t know when it happened, but my theme switched. Sometimes in late 2020 or early 2021, it switched to POCD. It started with a single thought, and I focused on it and it’s been my theme since then for four years. It has been absolutely destroying me. I feel so disgusted and lost and just tired. My compulsions are severe now. I thought they were bad before, but now they’re ten times worse. I can’t eat, drink, change my clothes, walk, or even do things on my phone normally. I’ve developed so many mental compulsions that it’s so intricate and complicated yet at the same time I’ve done them so much that they’ve become normal. An example I have is if im putting on a shirt and I have a “bad” thought, I have to take it off and put it back on two more times (that’ll make it 3 times I put the shirt back on - odd numbers are my safe number). I have to have a good thought on the third time otherwise I have to take it off and put it on two more times to make it five times I put on that shirt. If not that then I just put on a different shirt because the original is now tainted with my bad thought. I can’t open apps on my phone. It’s with the numbers again. If I open TikTok once while having a bad thought - I have to close it and open it two more times and so on. Sometimes I do it up to 30 times. So I just don’t do things usually. I don’t turn on the TV because I know I’ll redo it. I don’t open a book or grab it off my shelf because I’ll have to repeat the action. I can’t even lay in bed without getting up and redoing it even if im exhausted. I just feel so helpless. I don’t know what to do. I feel disgusting and even now my minds screaming at me that I am dirty and what I think is true. I just wish I was free of this, I wish I could just live my life. I’ve wasted hours and days because of my compulsions. I mask it so well around my friends. I don’t do them in front of anyone or I’ve learned to hide it well. But when im back home alone, it goes haywire. I just want to live again.
- Date posted
- 10w
Im 16 years old and female and up until very late last year and this year I’ve been having thought almost every day that I’m a pedophile or that I’m sexually attracted to or want a romantic relationship with child. I don’t know how to explain it and I don’t want judgment because I’m genuinely so scared and disgusted, but anytime I’m around children I feel my chest tighten, my body feels warm and it feels like I don’t know how to breathe. I sometimes get a groomer response but even then I don’t know if it’s a ground response or not. Also I tend to stare at children when I’m anywhere near them, I feel like if I don’t I’m a weirdo and if I don’t look at them it means I’m attracted to them which I guess could be POCD but I feel like I stare at them inappropriately. Not too long ago maybe three weeks ago I went to the park with my family and there were two girls in their swim suits and I was looking at their backsides and I felt really anxious and scared like I usually do but I felt so upset by looking at them that way and now I’m scared to go to pools or splash pads because every time I do I feel like I stare at them gross and I just feel so disgusted with myself. When I tell myself not to look I end up looking and then I stare. I feel better when I’m not around them but even then, I look back at what I saw earlier that day and I feel anxious again and then I look up what’s been happening and then I feel more worried it’s not OCD. My friends who have OCD say I might have it but I can’t get a therapist, I can’t talk to anyone I’m scared I’ll be put in jail and that I’m not a good person. I’ve never head thoughts like this until this year and near the end of last year and they come now? I don’t know what to do.
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