- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I find that after I got HOCD I can’t really like someone off of looks as much. Of course I can be sexually attracted to someone based off of looks but from someone with low sex drive even before HOCD it was always more about personality and actions. Like before HOCD I never dated a conventionally beautiful girl but I had crushes on them. The girls I dated were all determined within the first few weeks if I was happy with them. My last girlfriend I was unhappy with because of her smoking habits, this is something my HOCD targets a lot too. But I wanted to be with her because she was sexually attractive. But now I am in HOCD I get my attraction to girls back every now and then and I usually fall for personality now. Of course after I’m hooked, sexual attraction isn’t as hard but as I’m anxious all the time it’s hard to tell the difference between anxiety and attraction but I notice usually when I see a girl I like I get bubbly and can’t resist smiling and I notice a major decrease in anxiety, but when I see someone my HOCD has targeted in the past or is currently targeting I cringe or my face drops and anxiety rises pretty much to the max. As for online relationships. I get that, my first girlfriend in high school was over the internet and we met on PlayStation. I assumed how she looked based off how she sounded but expectations like that pretty much always fall through, I still dated her and because I liked her a lot she seemed like the most beautiful girl ever. Of course this was before HOCD and before my social anxiety really took off.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Lol wow this sounds exactly like what I deal with too
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Personality over looks. Just try not to over analyse xxxx
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I think I have always fell for the personality (not to sound snobby) but I think this is me just getting cold feet cause this is actually getting more serious now. Also I just realised that he kinda looks like this guy in my school whom I don't like that much and that might affect the way I feel :D I have never had a boyfriend before but I have always imagined myself with a certain type and now that he doesn't look like it, I'm unsure. I know looks don't matter and I should just focus on the fact that I feel happy with him and feel like I can be myself around him but I can't help these feelings rn. It helps to know others have been in similar situations as well.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 19w ago
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Ughhhhhh it feels like I can’t tell between false attraction or attractive 😭 :/ idk I just saw some pics of joji and artist that makes music when he was younger (it was a post on insta) and on one of them I thought oh he looks cute here, but no I’m like omg but idk in what way tho but it felt like not false attraction like I thought or meant it in another way and I. Felt that and then kinda freaked out bc idk if it’s weird and then I felt groinals and *sigh*
- Date posted
- 8w ago
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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