Not OCD related but I'm in a conundrum: I play this online game and I met this guy there whom I started speaking with first in the game chat but we have now moved to discord and snapchat. I really liked him (finally actually liking a guy for the first time since I got HOCD) and we were hitting off really well, people we play with started teasing us (playfully) about playing so much together etc. and I was really happy and excited to play with him. But now I got a first picture of him and when I look at it, I think he is kinda cute but the moment I am not looking at this photo I start picturing him as something that I don't find attractive and I even started thinking about all the things that are wrong with him (and things I dislike about him) and now I don't know if that is just my fear of commitment, HOCD, or for real. I really like him. He just didn't look like what I had imagined by the sound of his voice (although he still looks good etc.). I don't know what to think and how do I get rid of these negative thoughts... help?

Personality over looks. Just try not to over analyse xxxx

I find that after I got HOCD I can’t really like someone off of looks as much. Of course I can be sexually attracted to someone based off of looks but from someone with low sex drive even before HOCD it was always more about personality and actions. Like before HOCD I never dated a conventionally beautiful girl but I had crushes on them. The girls I dated were all determined within the first few weeks if I was happy with them. My last girlfriend I was unhappy with because of her smoking habits, this is something my HOCD targets a lot too. But I wanted to be with her because she was sexually attractive. But now I am in HOCD I get my attraction to girls back every now and then and I usually fall for personality now. Of course after I’m hooked, sexual attraction isn’t as hard but as I’m anxious all the time it’s hard to tell the difference between anxiety and attraction but I notice usually when I see a girl I like I get bubbly and can’t resist smiling and I notice a major decrease in anxiety, but when I see someone my HOCD has targeted in the past or is currently targeting I cringe or my face drops and anxiety rises pretty much to the max. As for online relationships. I get that, my first girlfriend in high school was over the internet and we met on PlayStation. I assumed how she looked based off how she sounded but expectations like that pretty much always fall through, I still dated her and because I liked her a lot she seemed like the most beautiful girl ever. Of course this was before HOCD and before my social anxiety really took off.

I think I have always fell for the personality (not to sound snobby) but I think this is me just getting cold feet cause this is actually getting more serious now. Also I just realised that he kinda looks like this guy in my school whom I don't like that much and that might affect the way I feel :D I have never had a boyfriend before but I have always imagined myself with a certain type and now that he doesn't look like it, I'm unsure. I know looks don't matter and I should just focus on the fact that I feel happy with him and feel like I can be myself around him but I can't help these feelings rn. It helps to know others have been in similar situations as well.