Not OCD related but I'm in a conundrum: I play this online game and I met this guy there whom I started speaking with first in the game chat but we have now moved to discord and snapchat. I really liked him (finally actually liking a guy for the first time since I got HOCD) and we were hitting off really well, people we play with started teasing us (playfully) about playing so much together etc. and I was really happy and excited to play with him. But now I got a first picture of him and when I look at it, I think he is kinda cute but the moment I am not looking at this photo I start picturing him as something that I don't find attractive and I even started thinking about all the things that are wrong with him (and things I dislike about him) and now I don't know if that is just my fear of commitment, HOCD, or for real. I really like him. He just didn't look like what I had imagined by the sound of his voice (although he still looks good etc.). I don't know what to think and how do I get rid of these negative thoughts... help?

I have HOCD and lately it’s been worse than usual. I’m wondering if it’s because I have met someone I really like. I’ve been getting to know this great guy and feel like I’m bound to screw things up based on the intrusive thoughts that I’m having. I either try to find things wrong with him or with myself. I feel like he could be someone who really could be an amazing addition to my life and I’m finding it so difficult to slow myself down because I’m always worrying about something. I’ve always been someone who feels guilty for their thoughts, like I have to tell someone or I’m not being honest. I feel like I’m hiding something from him when obviously I’m not, because they’re just thoughts. I know the OCD wants me to do this- to question, and to vocalize the thoughts and tell people- but I feel like vocalizing would give the thoughts more power which is exactly what the OCD wants me to do. But I still feel guilty and I’m not sure how to let this go. Tips on how to deal with this?

So my hocd started over 2 years ago (I’m 20 yrs old now), when I was having a conversation with one of my friends and the thought popped into the back of my head what if the reason I don’t have a crush on any guys at my high school is because I’m a lesbian. Since then my sexuality has been on my mind 24/7 I didn’t know this was ocd until about a year ago but i’m only seeking treatment now. The hocd ramped up when I felt super aroused watching a movie with topless women, something that had never happened when watching men. Thing is I genuinely think I’m gay now, I’ve had this for so long that at first the thoughts disgusted me and caused me anxiety but now they don’t anymore. I saw so many tiktok videos about “pipelines” of certain interests gay people have that triggered me and read the comphet masterdoc which made me cry when I read it because I related to so much of it. When I was a child I was never boy crazy, I never really crushed on boys in my class (to be fair there were only 7) however I do remember writing a love note to a boy in first grade and having an immense celebrity crush on a disney channel star. I remember to certain things I did as a child that lead me to think I am gay and they keep replaying over and over in my head. Thing is over the past year I’ve had crushes on 3 guys I’ve met through dating apps. The last one I actually hung out with and I had my first kiss/makeout session 2 months ago. After that my hocd calmed down I enjoyed kissing him it felt euphoric the whole drive home just replaying our dates in my head. But now I can’t get the thought out of my head what if I didn’t like it enough? I didn’t get butterflies when we kissed (i do when I think back about it though) and didnt feel super aroused like that time I watched that movie. I feel nothing when I look at pictures and videos of men but with women I started getting this warm feeling in my chest which stressed me out even more. Idk what I am anymore and it is driving me insane. Does anyone relate?

Thing is that i'm OBSESSED with a girl, i think about her all day and i hate this, i love My boyfriend, but she appears everywere and un everything, Even in unrelated things, She's a classmate and it's the third time i have an HOCD obsession with her, it makes me think and tried to make me believe im really in love with her, to also make me think i'm gay and makes me feel as if i don't want to be with my bf anymore, when i really love him and this actually started when i was scared of my bf falling in love with her.. i don't know what to do anymore, because Even if i Say i don't like her, it feels as if i'm lying, and also feels that i don't like My bf anymore which makes it Even MORE real, is this OCD? It feels like denial, but after the first 2 OCD obsessions with her i kept going with my normal life and loved My bf normally (Even tho i still had HOCD), pls answer:( i'm not gay, also, it came back because she cut her hair and now uses glasses, which i thought she looked cute or good in, but was scared of my boyfriend liking her, then it turned into, what if i liked her to directly thinking i'm in love with her (which i'm not and saying that made me anxious)..PLD READ I NEED ANSWERD :(