I love Robert Pattinson...he's beautiful. I was always team Jacob, but looking back on it, I think Taylor lautner is ugly. I relate to you because I feel like all of my previous crushes on men were fake and I can't help but scrutinize every single thing in my past.
I also really like him, I love how funny he is and how much he jokes about the twilight films- just seems really down to earth. I also feel like that about all my previous crushes. I have received treatment and I’m on meds now, meaning I don’t really get anxious anymore as they’re really working for me. But this also means I get worried my ocd isn’t real haha. I also haven’t had a crush (even on a celeb) in a very long time which scares me :(
@Melodyocd I totally get it. I’ve struggled with this theme since I was 12, and I worry because it started so young that I’m actually bisexual/lesbian.
@Melodyocd If you don’t mind me asking, if you’ve already received treatment, then why are you asking for reassurance?
@missbluesky I’ve still complete some compulsions sometimes, therapy was amazing I hardly do compulsions now, but I guess I still slip up every now and then haha
are you in treatment?
This is one of those trends that drives me insane! They go “If you like *insert really attractive and likeable male celebrity* then you don’t actually like men”. And literally….that concept makes no sense. Those videos/posts are always said as a joke, but it makes me lose my mind. And then I find myself saying confusing things like “oh I really like this man, I must not be attracted to men” which…sounds ridiculous, huh? And it kills me when people say if you like men who are too masculine, you’re lying about liking men. But they also say, if you like men who are in touch with their femininity, you’re once again lying about liking men. So…what is it? I try not to spend too much time piecing through this “logic” because, mixed with my OCD, it just comes out like word garbage lol. But I 100% relate to this concept
Literally. I have a crush on bo burnham and think he’s super attractive, but apparently a lot of queer women also think he’s hot so it makes me freak out.
This was really well stated, and you’re totally right. I have my moments with HOCD, but it’s by no means as bad as it once was - I’ve come a long way with it. But I’d be lying if I was to say that seeing that sort of content didn’t trigger me, and I’m not trying to be reassuring, a lot of that stuff is complete BS. And, (I’m a psych student) and the point you brought up about ‘if you like men who are ‘too’ (?) masculine, you’re lying about liking men’ We literally just did a module on human attraction, and women who are attracted to men with feminine faces are more likely to be attracted to women, so in actual fact, women who like masculine men are statistically the ‘straightest’. Not that any of that really matters. That’s just people spitting out an agenda that’s based on absolutely no scientific merit. The internet is such a weird place.
@Ope.0 I knew immediately after posting that comment that I should’ve added more context, I’m so sorry if that triggered you. When I heard that, I instantly started to panic, ‘what if I like men with feminine faces, oh god’, and I was so triggered. This study was done by showing female participants a scale of male faces (ranging from feminine to masculine) and asking them to choose the one they were most attracted to, and afterwards if they are also sexually attracted to women. The women who chose the more feminine male face were more (statistically) likely to be sexually attracted to women. But not every single woman who preferred the feminine male face was bisexual. And plus, there’s some strong evidence that suggests that females (who are straight) find different types of men more attractive at different points in their cycle. I.e. if you’re ovulating, you’re more likely to find more masculine men attractive, and if you’re not, more feminine men because they’re less likely to cheat. This is one of those things that can really trigger the ‘what ifs’, but use this as an exposure and know that you can grow from this. Feel free to ask me anymore questions :))
@Ope.0 I admit, my mind went to the same place. But I genuinely think that it’s a funny concept to equate an attraction to more feminine men to liking women. I think as an academic perspective, it’s interesting. But feminine men are still men and it’s not off the wall to imagine that women are attracted to “feminine” things like sensitivity, certain fashions, etc. It’s the whole “female vs male” gaze. I think the same can be said for the reverse, as well. When certain women display more masculine characteristics, it’s not off base for people who are attracted to masculinity to become intrigued by them. I love theory, so I try to enjoy conversations about these topics, but as someone who suffers from ocd, it’s become very difficult to engage with them. The thing about theory and academic perspectives like Lavenderyellow mentioned is that none of them are proven. It’s a lens through which people can examine certain behaviors/trends, but it’s not a definitive mark of someone’s identity. No two people are identical. And while we may relate to one another’s experiences, we don’t mirror them
@ashVtay This is all totally correct. Correlational studies in psychology aren’t the most scientific, because correlation does NOT always equal causation. And yeah, there’s an incomprehensible amount of variation in humans, no two people will mirror each other EXACTLY, even identical twins. At the end of the day, a man is a man, ultimately. Sometimes looking too much into the details can take away that bigger picture, which is much more important. To be honest, it was probably inappropriate of me to bring up all of that stuff, but I was just responding to your comments on some of the odd claims made about human sexuality that have no science behind them from people in the LGBT community. I may have this theme, but I know I’m straight, and traits like sensitivity are 100% attractive, does that make me gay? Maybe on LGBT tik tok, lmao.
@lavenderyellow Omg thank you all so much for you amazing comments, such helpful insights!! Seeing those kind of posts like the one I shared seriously trigger me too, the same as the whole “if you cuff your jeans you’re bi thing” (I cuff my jeans bc my ankles are really tiny and all jeans are baggy if I don’t!), so it’s really nice to know I’m not alone with this trigger and thank you for your helpful responses :)