Do you ever feel like even though you're looking at 18+ porn that somehow you're doing something wrong? I never use to feel like this until I started getting all these POCD kinda thoughts now I see it as a sex drive out of control even though before this same behavior really didn't bug me.

Yeah I question too if it's avoidance but my thearpist just said I can quit porn if I'd like to but I don't have to. As long as I'm not completely repressing myself sexually she said it isn't the end of the world.

@PRYM That's where I went all the way, stopping masturbation for 2+ weeks and still after that having cut the frequency in half compared to before. I had a fear of becoming dependent on masturbation and porn as an "outlet" for the thoughts and compulsions that's why I've done it. The part that is really frustrating is that I've become scared of masturbation as the thoughts always find a way inside which I respond to with cutting the frequency even further down, which I guess truly is an avoidance compulsion.

@PRYM What does she mean by repressing yourself sexually? Sometimes I feel like I'm doing that when I try to not do masturbation

@PRYM But referring to your original post, I feel you. Before I could have masturbated to porn multiple times in a day (or zero times) without giving it a second thought, now it seems I'm hyper sensitive to all sexual content with my brain always looking for something that's morally wrong with it. I would see an actress which I would really like at first but then notice or analyze her characteristics (how old does she look, what am I attracted to in her...). It usually ended up in quickly checking her age for reassurance. The funny part would be me panicking because of someones youthful looks and then finding out she is like 29 years old.

@BigGip09 Yeah completely trying to repress your sexual feelings. She was saying porn can be traumatic in certain situations so quitting it isn't the end of the world but trying to stop sexual feelings and sexual desire all together makes people act out in other ways frequently. You can see that happening with a lot of these incels. Had no sexual outlet or felt guilty for it so they took it out on women instead of finding a healthy way of expressing that need. Most of the research on this seems to conclude that you just want to find healthy ways of expressing it, the most healthy seem to be with another partner, but writing about it, masturbation, or expressing your sexuality in some way all seem to lead to better emotional results. The people that tend to do well not expressing their sexuality are people that would be deemed more on the "asexual" side already or have a lower sex drive.

@ocdalltheway Yeah I use to watch a lot of the stepsister stuff mostly because it just seems to have better plots than a lot of the other stuff but then I started seeing people talk about how their father watched incest porn and abused them and I started panicking like oh God am I going to abuse someone because of that? And then sometimes I feel bad about the teen porn even though I know it's 18+ which sucks because it seems most of the girls I'm attracted to are like 19-23 (I'm 25 btw) and I know there's nothing illegal about it but man the guilt! Even anime which I absolutely love, I'll feel guilty if the character is like under 18 and attractive. I'm like omg calm down it's pixels! Lol this kinda stuff use to never bug me for any longer than a second thought. Now it's like MAX GUILT. That's another thing I've noticed. I don't really feel varying degrees of guilt anymore like when I was younger, I either feel no guilt about something or the absolute max like I'm about to puke. No inbetween.

@PRYM Wow. I never thought of it like that, to be honest. I do totally agree that porn can do a number on people and it can be traumatic like it was for me, but I never thought about fully putting those feelings aside. It's something I do myself, and I think it makes the urges even worse than they already are. I sometimes think that it's overall bad to have a sexual release even if it's healthy. I think I need to stop letting OCD tell me that. Or even the trauma itself. But what if it comes down to lowering your sex drive? I think mine has seen a bit of a rise.

@PRYM Well, there isn't anything necessarily wrong with an adult male finding young women around the age of 19-24 attractive. I think that's just in our nature. But you better believe porn is right there to mess all of that up. And some of it is really fucking odd. I always found it really suspicious that people would sexualize the school girl outfit for example. If porn is just giving you that guilt you're better off releasing your sexual needs in the healthiest way possible.

@PRYM I guess one question I have for the whole sexual repression thing is this: What do you think is the healthy balance for satisfying those needs and not doing it too much?

@BigGip09 Well sex drives naturally rise and fall for all kinds of reasons. It's not a static phenomenon.

@BigGip09 That would probably vary from person to person. But most of what thearpists say is as long as it doesn't interfere with responsibilities and your ability to do other things with your life then it would be healthy. When it stops other parts of your life from working then you want to adjust how you're approaching it.

@BigGip09 Yeah the schoolgirl stuff I think just comes down to men are attracted to youth it's well documented. Like they took men from ages 18-60 and asked them if they were attracted to 18 year olds and it barely changed regardless of age. Now even with attraction there's other factors that determine if someone would want to date someone that young but there's obviously a biological part of this. So as long as it's legal and consenting I don't think there's anything wrong with it, though if someone is hyperfocused on a schoolgirl fetish they may want to look into that just to make sure it doesn't turn into something problematic but it doesn't guarantee it will.

@PRYM I mean if it got to a point where someone at work would flat out do it and watch videos on a business computer, that's a huge problem. I guess if people can get things done and end the day with a little session, I think that's fine. That's what I usually do. I typically just wait until my day is completely over. I think that's fine. And for the kinks thing, I didn't intend to make it seem like I'm shaming that kind of thing. I just thought it was odd because typically minors are in the demographic of wearing those clothes. But I guess if a model could wear something like that I suppose it's fine. I guess it's because it's just not my thing. I do agree with men, no matter how old they get are still going to be attracted to young women. That's honestly just how nature works if you ask me. This is simply because women in the age bracket of 19-25 or so are in their prime when it comes to how they look. As they get older, their looks fade overtime. Some older women can pull it off though. All preference at the end of the day, long as no one gets hurt and as long as it doesn't involve underage persons

@BigGip09 Yeah I'm just saying because men are attracted to younger women, kinks develop around what younger women would wear. And yeah having to look at it at work would go back to my previous point of it becomes a problem once it interferes with your ability to do nornal activities. And no it doesn't seem like you're kink shaming, sounds more like you're just investigating the possible results and consequences of said kink. Nothing wrong with that. Even to an extent I understand judging kinks. Like as long as it's with an adult I don't mind but do we really need to know everyone's kink? Like it's a bedroom matter not a public one.

This stuff just isn't good for your mental health. You're already going through OCD, you don't have to add porn in the mix, especially since it just makes you uncertain. Honestly, why deal with it? Although definitely not easy, you could make the choice to not watch any of that stuff and focus your energy into beneficial things.

@BigGip09 Yeah I've just have such a sex drive it's hard to just ignore it and I really am not in any position to be having sex so it's hard to find a outlet for it that isn't porn.

@PRYM Or how about no specific sexual outlet? I mean, I'm not saying you can't masturbate, but at the same time, you don't NEED porn to get the maximum fulfillment either. The best way I think you can change this behavior is to apply the energy you have in your urges to something else. Cut out porn completely. Seriously, it just doesn't help you out in the end. It messes with your dopamine and you end up going back to it again and again in hopes that it feels just as good as it did the very first time. Then after you finish, the clarity kicks in, and often times, you feel like a hot mess. Negative feelings, regret even, and no energy. Start with that. Then after you block all the sites and pretty much any triggers you have, you're just left with urges to masturbate. Slowly, but surely, you can diminish your libido and apply that energy to something more worthwhile. Only thing is, it won't be easy. Expect relapses because that's part of the journey of getting better at this. You have to fail in order to succeed. At the same time, focus on your triggers, give yourself things to do when the urges come up, and craft plans that will help you transition the urges into something healthy. These can include taking a simple walk outside, surrounding yourself with other people, taking a cold shower, (Cold because you'll react to how cold the water is and you're too busy focusing on your shivers rather than any urges) and most important, exercise. What I use and have been using to keep track of how long I can go without these things and daily motivation is an app called I Am Sober. I recommend that you use it. There is also a community of people that are going through the same thing you are. It's quite ridiculously common and people are trying to accomplish the same things you and I are. I suggest giving it a try.

@BigGip09 Yeah I might try. There's a few times where I went a few weeks and felt better but then something triggered me and I went back to porn.

@PRYM It's good that you actually felt better without it. That shows you can do it again, man. Don't give up. Give it another try. I do believe in you. You are better off without this filth in your life. Instead of watching that stuff so much, stay on your goals and thrive with what you want to do in life

@BigGip09 Yeah maybe. It would definitely help having a lower libido because I'm stuck home most of the time. Would take some of the dread away.

@PRYM Definitely step outside the house whenever you can. I have that same problem, even while knowing it would be good for my overall health.

@BigGip09 Yeah I mean I have health problems that make it hard to walk around for long periods of time but I try to get out when I can

@PRYM I hope those problems will grow weaker in time, man. I didn't know it had existing health problems. Porn addiction definitely don't need to be on that list. Stay strong