This post is for all my religious/Christian brothers and sisters on here. I wanted to share an experience I had about 10 years ago that I think might be a strength to some of you who have dealt with scrupulosity/religion based OCD. Ive had scrupulosity since I was 6 years old. Took me until I was 21 to really figure out that something not normal was going on - owing to the subject matter of my anxieties I never felt comfortable bringing them up to people. So I figured that my obsessions were God/my conscience telling me I was doing bad things. Back in 2011, I didn’t know I had OCD. I hadn’t even considered it. I knew I had anxiety and was on medication for that. I had never heard of ERP. One particular day I was ruminating pretty hard. I had remembered something “weird” I had done as a teen. I had become convinced that it was somehow illegal (it wasn’t,) and that the only way I could possibly gain forgiveness from God was to turn myself in and serve a lengthy prison sentence in order to “pay” for my sins(WTF.) So, as was my regular compulsion, I knelt at my bed saying repetitive prayers begging God to help me feel as though I had been forgiven, and begging that I wouldn’t have to go to prison or any other such horrible thing. And as was par for the course, no relief was coming. Not from God, not from myself, and not from anyone else. Suddenly though some inspiration cut trough all the noise right into my center. And it was something I had never really considered. I didn’t hear a voice, but the inspiration was clear enough that was almost as if I had. The thought that came said, impactfully, “Stop. Stop praying. Stop fighting. Lay down on your bed and just let yourself feel it.” So I did. A few minutes passed of me just feeling anxious and not trying to stop it, at all. And then, suddenly, the anxiety just… basically melted away and I was filled with the most brilliant feeling of love and acceptance I have probably ever felt. And I realized something important: when I have anxiety, by accepting it and not fighting it, spending time in that dark place, I am following the example of Christ in some small way when he willingly allowed himself to suffer and die for each of us. And that in a way, when I allow the anxiety, and don’t try to run away, I am spending real time with Christ in that moment when he prayed, saying “not my will, but thine be done.” It wasn’t until a while later that I started learning that what I have is OCD, and started hearing something about ERP. When I heard about ERP for the first time I was floored, because in its basic form it was essentially what God in his mercy had taught me to do a few years prior. So everybody. To me, ERP is the REAL DEAL. Not just scientifically but spiritually. Keep up the good fight, do your exposures, and spend those dark moments with the Lord. Have a good day and I hope my experience and witness of Christ can strengthen you in your own fight with OCD in some way.

Hey guys, just responded to a post about someone having their ROCD struggles and thought I might share in other groups as well in case it helps. While not everyone has ROCD, maybe some of my message can help others with this battle if it’s not something you guys already know. Maybe some of you guys can add your own thoughts as well. I’d encourage you guys to read my message even if you don’t share the Christian faith as I do. I encourage you guys further to read the Bible yourselves (what does it even say, anyway?). I’m only just a newbie to it, too, but it has helped a lot. The context: This is a response to someone who’s having guilt about their thoughts, partly because it goes against their faith. Anyway, here it goes: I can empathize and relate, especially when faith starts being thrown into the intrusive thought loop. My suggestion is to live your life according to your faith and your values, not your thoughts or feelings. Previously you might have used your thoughts and feelings to guide you as a compass, but try making God and His teachings your compass instead. Read the Bible, heck read it with your partner- that might help with feeling connected with him. Live your life according to your morals, not the world as “the heart is deceitful” (Jeremiah, 17:9) and the world has a way of demonizing certain relationship struggles (“you should be attracted to your partner”, “you shouldn’t question your relationship”, “you should have the same interests as your partner”, “you shouldn’t feel abc because it means xyz”). Make yourself a list for all the things you like about your partner, continually add/review them, and you will relearn to feel the feeling of appreciating them. What qualities about your relationship/partner have you enjoyed/make you stay? Love and loving relationships are built, not found. Notice how the reasons why you “don’t love” or “shouldn’t be with your partner” go against what God would want for you and are shallow lies from the world disguised as truths. Challenge these beliefs you’ve heard/held about relationships that are sabotaging yours. Have you considered maybe God wants you to stay with a loving partner who is good to you and cares for you? (assuming your bf is.) And lastly, find a therapist who SPECIALIZES in ocd. I’ve tried therapists who didn’t know what it was and not only were they unable to support me in the way I needed it but they kept unknowingly feeding my doubts. You are not a bad person or bad partner for having these thoughts. If you have not physically acted on your distressing thoughts, this is an extremely good sign. The fact that you know it’s wrong is a very good thing. Keep trying, even if you lose hope. Best of luck

(This post discusses Religion/spirituality in regards to Christianity. And thus touches on some Christian themes. But you dont need to be christian to read it/ or even benefit from it. So whatever walk of life your from and if your willing to give it a shot I hope it brings you some comfort too.) Hello soldier, how goes the day? But really OCD can make everyday feel like an uphill battle, and even at the end of the day you don't really feel like you won. Wherever your at in your journey today, know your not alone. I'm here talk about something specific, and if you've read the tags, you can probably take a guess. I have Religious OCD and a lot of other ones that interconnect with it. It wasn't always this way, but it has been the heart of my OCD struggle for the last decade. The battle has waxed and waned for that time but it has been terrible for over a year. Today I have spent trying to connect with God despite my OCD, and all my other issues. (Dont misunderstand me, ocd is a big part of my struggle-and it only to serves to exacerbate my other questions and worries.) Today I've tried to understand that God can handle my dirt and shame. And won't walk away even when I stop believing im not a lost cause.-and hey if you ever struggle to believe that God hasn't given up on you, your not alone. But im here to talk about something I've found in the last while. If your on this website then you know now that OCD is not something your alone with-despite knowing this it can be very hard to believe somebody has the exact same issues as you- and the more shameful it is-the less people want to talk about it. But GOOD NEWS- some of the people on this journey happen to be very brave (maybe you and me aren't feeling very brave right now, but thats okay too.) So I took the time this evening to look up some things about Christians with religious OCD. Because it is one thing entirely to know that OCD affects people from all walks of life. It is another thing to hear your thoughts come from someone else's mouth. So im gonna touch on a couple things I learned/relearned a few minutes ago. 1. Does your OCD make you question your salvation? If so, your not alone-this is something that a lot of people struggle with-and it can feel very scary. 2. Do you struggle to stop your compulsions? I think this is something we all struggle with no matter your OCD subtype. I have often tried to stop my compulsions ot even just delay them for a bit....but the guilt/shame creeps up on me, and i give after a bit because it's like a bird pecking on the inside of my skull-and then I feel increased guilt for trying to delay in the first place-its that little voice that says 'why did you tarry on the way to repentance.' (Yeah that voice is fantastic, it can actively impede your recovery to a stuttering halt if you let it. ) 3. All of our doubts leading back to one question. 'What if it's not just OCD?' Again I think this is something we all struggle with, but it can be especially difficult to deal with when your subtype has less physical evidence to go off of. Here's an example: when I was between the ages 5-10 my ocd centered around getting sick. Due to an incorrect allergy test-it was thought I had a dairy allergy. For almost 5 years I was on a dairy free diet. But, like I said the allergy test was incorrect. Nevertheless reincorporating dairy into my diet was a struggle. But it was less of one because I could active progress. The first time I drank milk was terrifying, but each time after that was easier and easier as I saw nothing happened. As much as I wish I could apply that to this subtype of OCD it's very difficult when there's nothing I can really do to be certain I have not sinned. (And im sure some other subtypes have the same problem) and so the question arises "What if it's not just OCD?" The what ifs will kill you-tonight i read how it's one of OCD favorite and most effective ways to keeping us trapped. (Feel scared and unsure-me too) I wish I could explain it the way I read about it if only to try and help you all understand. But the bottom line is this is another way OCD has disguised itself to make it look like a real threat. In closing (Land sakes alive, this was a long post and im still not sure if I made my point or not) all that doubt and fear your feeling-yeah dont let OCD use that against you anymore than it already has. (For a long time I've kinda looked down on ERP. Even if it worked for others, I didn't think it would work for me because how could this every be less scary with no physical reassurence -or worse what if by getting rid of my fear I tore down the one thing protecting me from actually acting on those thoughts. Tonight I feel hopeful again, if only a little (maybe even hopeful enough to give ERP a try)....and if your as tired, ashamed,sad, and weary as I am. I wanted to try and give you a little hope too. And if your feeling as lost as I was a bit ago try looking up some blogs from someone people who have your subtype-it is strangely effective to hear someone talk about fighting with doubts and recovery when you dont always feel sure it's possible. Good night brave adventurers....I dont know if today had more victories or losses for you but we're still here so it's not over yet.

I write a long summary of ERP therapy recently. I'm going to copy and paste it here if anyone wants to read it. Love to you all 💙💙💕💕🩵🩵 If you put ERP in a nutshell, there's a couple main tenants that are REALLY important to understand. Here they are... 1.) You have to treat the thoughts as though they don't mean anything (because, in real life, they actually don't mean anything!) 2.). You have to deny yourself any safety behaviors that you do because of the thoughts (because these are all compulsions) 3.). When you deny the safety behaviors (i.e., the compulsions), it will cause your brain and even your body to go into anxiety mode. (In other words, your brain freaks out because you feel like you did something that was NOT SAFE.) 4.). But you have to "ride out" the anxiety feelings until they subside on their own. The more you practice doing this, the easier it gets. The anxiety spikes will get smaller and smaller. Eventually, you will be able to prevent yourself from doing compulsions without feeling anxiety. ----------------------//////-------///////------- Okay, so let's talk about each of these things, one at at time. ERP can be done on your own, but it's easier with someone else's help. First things first, a therapist will sit down with you and make you write a list of all the things you are scared to do, from the least scary to the most scary. And then you will go out and practice doing those things, starting with the easiest things. Okay, let's start with #1. You have to treat the thoughts as though they don't mean anything. There's a few things that are important to understand here. Remember that I said that you have to TREAT the thoughts as though they don't mean anything. I said this because you are always going to have doubts and fears. You are always, at some level, going to half-way believe that that your thoughts actually have meaning. But that's okay! You don't have to believe this fully. You only have to ACT as though they don't mean anything. OCD is called the "doubting disease" for a reason. For every decision you make, you will always have doubts. And that's why recovery from OCD means that you have to learn how to "take the leap" and go forward EVEN THOUGH the doubts are still there. I can assure you that the thoughts don't mean anything. And you can mostly believe it. But even if you don't believe it fully, you have to make the decision that you are going to ACT as though they don't mean anything. In order to recover from OCD, everyone has to change their relationship with their thoughts. Everyone starts out afraid of their thoughts. They believe that their thoughts are DANGEROUS and that there is some connection with their thoughts to the outside world. This is the big trap of OCD. But we all have to learn that the thoughts mean nothing. However, we also have to learn that WE CANT STOP the thoughts. And we should not try. We have to stop fighting off the thoughts. We have to learn to ALLOW the thoughts while at the same time doing nothing about them. I'm going to copy and paste something that I wrote previously: -------////////--------------////////-----------//// The key is to STOP fighting off the thoughts. You need to just accept that they are in your head, and that they are MEANINGLESS—and it doesn’t matter if they are there or not. This is very important for OCD recovery. ERP therapy trains us to never fight the thoughts. If you try to fight them off, they’re just going to get worse. My therapist explained it like this: Imagine a tree planted by river. The leaves from the tree fall off and float down the river. You watch the leaves fall, but you don’t try to stop them. You just let them float down the river. This is the same with ALL intrusive thoughts. It doesn’t matter if these are bad thoughts about God, violence, sex, attractions, etc. All intrusive thoughts are the SAME. You just let them fall off the tree and float down the river. Here’s another analogy: Imagine a swarm of angry bees around someone’s head. The bees can’t really bite or sting, but they are very annoying as they swarm around the person’s head. They’re not really harmful to the person, but they are disturbing just because they are there. This is the same thing as the intrusive thoughts. They can’t really harm anything, and they don’t have any real power. But they are distracting and disturbing because they are there. If you take a stick and try to fight them off, they’re just going to swarm around even worse and get even stronger. It doesn’t work to try to fight them off with a stick. They will always keep swarming. In the same way, we can’t fight off the intrusive thoughts. It’s impossible. Besides, the thoughts are meaningless, and they can’t hurt us anyway. So don’t try to fight them off. Here’s one more analogy: Imagine your little brother is always saying mean things to you. Sometimes he shout means things; sometimes he whispers mean things; sometimes he shows you ugly pictures that he has drawn. He’s always trying to tease you and always trying to get you upset, and he’s always saying horrible things to you. If you shout at him to stop doing it, he’s just going to do it more. You have to accept that you can’t stop what he says. But if you ignore him and don’t give him any response and don’t get upset , he will eventually get bored and stop trying so hard. It’s the same with the intrusive thoughts. You can’t stop them. But if you get upset every time they come into your head, you are giving them power. You OCD (like a little brother) is going to feed you more of the things that “rile you up.” But if you don’t get upset and don’t care if these things are coming into your brain, then you can go about your life as normal. In this way, you are showing that these thoughts really have no power over you. Your OCD will try to trick you into giving “meaning” to the thoughts by saying maybe you will like them or maybe you will accept them, blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah. Don’t listen to the OCD. Practice strict ERP no matter how you feel and no matter how the OCD tries to tell you the danger you’re in if you start ignoring the thoughts. The truth is the thoughts don’t mean anything, so you can ignore them. You can’t make them go away (like the bees), but you can give them no power by acknowledging that they are meaningless. -----///////--------///////---------//////-------///- Okay, let's talk about #2. You have to deny the compulsions. When you boil them down, all compulsions are SAFETY BEHAVIORS. They are designed to negate the thoughts and keep you safe. It's important to remember that AVOIDANCE can be a safety behavior. For example, if you avoid saying certain words because you don't know the intentions behind it, then you are actually doing a compulsion. In ERP therapy, you have to practice denying the compulsions. However, you don't do this all at once. That is way too scary, and no one can handle that. Instead, you start with the very easiest compulsions. It's also important to know that many compulsions can be inside our heads. In my case, I had all these terrible sentences in my head toward God. And I thought I had to put a "not" next to every sentence in my head in order to "negate" the sentence. And I was exhausting myself trying to remember every sentence and make sure I put a "not" next to them in my head. I was doing these compulsions all day, every day, hundreds of times a day. I remember the day that I first stopped doing this compulsion. I stopped fighting the sentences in my head, and just let them "run" freely. It was a huge step for me. Now, I am no longer a slave to these sentences at all. Remember to not get discouraged if the treatment takes longer than you expect. The OCD journey tends to take a long time, with baby steps, and lots of circling back and starting over, lol. Just remember that this is part of the process. -------///////--------////////--------///////-----// Okay, let's talk about #3: The Anxiety Episodes When you deny compulsions, it feels unsafe. It feels like you are going to die or that someone you love is going to die. It feels like the consequences are huge, like the end of the world or some terrible disaster. Let me give you an example. When I feel like I did something "unsafe," I can usually pass over it and realize that I am okay. I have had years of practice doing this. But every once in a while, when I deny a compulsion, it feels so UNSAFE that I spiral into an anxiety pit. It can take hours, days, or weeks before I feel better. What you have to understand is that this is a NORMAL part of the recovery process. It seems strange to say this, because the episodes feel so awful. But in order to defeat OCD, we actually have to practice putting ourselves though the terrible anxiety that always accompanies "breaking the OCD rules." ---------///////---------//////-------------///--- And lastly, let's talk about #4: You have to "ride out" the anxiety episodes. There's no way to defeat OCD without pain. It takes a lot of work. But if you put the work in, you can get to the other side and start living the life you have wanted to live! So, it's important to understand this going in to journey. It's going to take a lot of work. It's going to take "pain" in the sense that you are going to make yourself experience these awful anxiety episodes. However, this is the only way to recover. But you have to take it slowly. Start with the simple things. And then take baby steps. If you don't, you will be overwhelmed and it won't work. Let's put this into an example. Let's say Jake has OCD, and he is afraid of crossing bridges. First, the therapist will ask him to just THINK about a bridge. If that causes anxiety, then Jake can practice thinking about bridges and then accept the anxiety that comes. The next session, the therapist might ask Jake to sit next to a bridge. This might cause even more anxiety. Jake has to practice sitting next to the bridge and "riding out" the anxiety that comes. The next time the therapist might ask Jake to put one foot on the bridge--and so on. The point is that at each step, Jake is successful at the required task, and he allows himself to experience the waves of anxiety that come. Yes, anxiety is like a wave. It has a peak, and then it slides downward after that. No one can stay in full anxiety mode forever. So we have to train ourselves to allow the anxiety to run its course. Eventually, it will get better. And the more we practice, the anxiety peaks will get smaller and smaller. And eventually, we won't have anxiety at all when we deny our compulsions. Okay, feel free to write back and talk to me about what you think. :):) I aways enjoy talking to people on this app.