Hey I just joined, for over 6 months I've been trying to figure out if my subconscious was telling me something when I thought about "my love for certain genres of music being an illusion in a different way" or whether it was just a thought. I haven't been able to get any closure and I'm becoming more depressed. Can your subconscious tell you something like that? Because I've tried looking it up on Google and I haven't gotten a straight answer. I know I'm not dealing with this in a healthy way but I can't help myself. I'm always afraid that every thought I have is true.

I'm not sure if your subconscious can tell you something like that, and I'm not surprised Google couldn't tell you either. But this does sound like OCD in my unprofessional opinion. What it sounds like you are doing right now is looking to figure out the meaning of the thoughts, which is a popular compulsion with OCD. If I try to help you with this, I not only will not be able to help you very much, but I will truly only make your OCD worse. Are you able to work with a therapist?

I haven't seen a therapist in over six years, and even then I was misdiagnosed with ADHD. I didn't have the vocabulary to properly describe what I was experiencing. I'm trying to find someway to find a counselor. OCD has affected me my whole life, the situation right now is that if my subconscious was not telling me something, then I would know for sure it meant nothing and is not true. But of course ruminating over this is making it worse. This is the longest episode I've been through,

@billyjasper I know that feeling, "if only I knew if there was a problem, then I would not have to worry about it." I myself worry about possibly commiting a sin, and I wish I just knew. But something about that feeling is just wrong, but I can't put my finger on it... do you know that feeling? I mean, I end up just going in circles in my mind. Maybe it just feels like an OCD thing and that's why it feels off. Does any of what I said make sense? 😂 If not, don't worry about it. Also, I'm sorry to hear about the misdiagnosis; I was almost misdiagnosed before. Have you tried getting a therapist at NOCD?

@Anonymous I have not tried getting a therapist at NOCD. I downloaded the app because I figured it would help because I'm trying to see a counselor, but I don't have insurance atm. But I can consult one here on the app.

@billyjasper Wait, are you saying that you can consult a counselor/therapist on the app right now? Do you mean with or without getting a therapist at NOCD?

I meant talking to a therapist on the app. Cause there's information stating that there's therapists you can book appointments with on the app?