I don't know whether I'm fighting against myself or ocd. I just keep thinking fuck it maybe I will just come out. And then I think about women and I can't let go they used to mean everything thing to me 😔

Have you even experienced anything with a guy or is it just thoughts at the moment?

I think you really need to try NOCD therapy, it’s well worth the time and money. I have really enjoyed it. The way to live with OCD is the gain the knowledge on how to live with it and handle it.

What’s that?

I just don't know it just feels like I'm gay and can't handle it. When I walk around the shopping center near me I just have so much anxiety I can't control my thoughts. You know your gay etc... then I'm like I must be at least bisexual 😔. I just can't feel what I used to feel for women it's horrible. I can see there pretty and that. That but I can't even appreciate a nice bum etc 😔

Our stories are very similar in many aspects. I have struggled with OCD since the age of 10, I am now 34. I was in a long term relationship with a girl in college, the feelings were there with her. However, I struggled with the thought of being attracted to men and expressed this to her. I don’t know what I’m thinking at the time but the thoughts and anxiety wouldn’t go away, she couldn’t handle the fact that I was thinking about a man. We broke up,etc. Many years went by and tried to date woman, it was never there for me. I began to open up to myself it was very uncomfortable to me, being I’m a very masculine male, I started just by going on dates with men and began experimenting with some, but was very cautious with who and made sure I put safety first.

Man I was scared and couldn’t stop thinking about how society would view me, but you asked a different question…. As time has gone on, I have been in a relationship with a guy for a year-and- a- half now, and life is amazing. Yes we struggle from time to time as any couple will but allowing myself to be myself was the best thing I could have done. Now before you just jump out there and experiment, understand the gay community. It is full of all kinds of people, at least in America, it can be a community filled with dragons. I was able to find a masculine male like myself and we have a lot in common and it works. But during the experimental phase there were some weird experiences. Never let anyone use you, respect them as you respect yourself. Here is the best advice I can give, DO NOT come out to anyone until you have someone in your life, such as a partner, to come out with. I’m trying to help you, is any of this helping at all? I want you to take a deep breathe, at the end of the day whether you are straight, or gay, life is going to be ok, I promise.

I was more attracted to a man than a woman. So we are different here. I knew in when I was 13 or 14 I liked men. You’ve got to control OCD, do not let it control you.

The biggest key for you is to make sure the next person you are in a relationship with understands OCD so they can understand you. A person that knows you’re going to come up with crazy things and may need to talk them out.