im having a panic attack and i need help. i was reading something on reddit while watching a movie because i panicked after seeing a child on screen and i was telling myself that i was not attracted to them and i kept feeling like i was lying. but i wasn’t i just don’t want to be i do not at all. then on reddit someone said we clearly don’t want to do anything to a child but finding parts of them potentially attractive is not indicative of being a pedophile and linked a video. i still was resisting the thoughts and saying no to them but it made me feel better and i started pondering but i feel like that’s still justifying pedophilia and i don’t want to be one but i felt better after reading that but that isn’t okay either. please i need help i’m desperate i don’t like this and i hate that i’m even worrying about this at all

POCD

Madison

Date posted: 4y

You’re ok. You’re not a pedophile. You have a FEAR of being a pedophile. That’s all this is. I know it’s hard to accept ocd and belive it. You wonder but what if? What if I actaully am? I’ve been there. And it sucks. But I am a good person and YOU are a good person. Deep down remember who you are really the core of it

Xxara

Date posted: 4y

thank you so much i rlly appreciate it. it’s hard bc the more i ruminate then worse it gets and i get confused when the basic answer was pretty simple but it all gets jumbled up and muddled so i panicked but i rlly appreciate it!

Madison

Date posted: 4y

@Xxara I also panicked that I was reassuring in an unhealthy way. I’m sorry if I did! But I really do belive in us

Xxara

Date posted: 4y

@Madison nope it wasn’t unhealthy reassurance imo. it’s nice that someone read what i had wrote and was able to sympathize dw about reassurance ur fine!

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

I highly recommend that you stay off Reddit, its poison. Wish you nothing but the best😊

Xxara

Date posted: 4y

thank you so much. it’s been eating away at me bc i guess my mind was going into overdrive and anything that made me feel better i was trying to grasp at but what made me feel better made me feel even worse if that makes sense? i was worried that features i find attractive in adults or teenagers my age i would find in kids and then i read that theres no problem with that and then i read it wasn’t okay and it sent me into overdrive yk?

Xxara

Date posted: 4y

i dont want to be one of those people that are pedophiles but just don’t do anything. i don’t want to be a pedophile end of story i don’t want to harm children or find them attractive and usually i don’t it’s only when i’m hyper focused do i panic about it but i’m genuinely worried that i am

Anonymous

Date posted: 4y

I completely understand mate, I do. Just stay off all them sites because they’ll make you feel even worse about yourself. I wish you nothing but the best my friend🤗

Date posted: 4y

omg i feel the same way it's so scary because i would never thats so tremendously gross and i'm just scared that i'm just justifying this and i don't want to be one either at all. like i'd literally rather die. but we fear of being one. that's the difference. and it's a huge difference. i'm also having a pretty fearful moment right now.

Xxara

Date posted: 4y

it’s so hard i agree! when i take a step back and examine the moment it all came from extreme rumination and fear and anxiety but when ur actually in it it’s like the world is ending right then and there it’s just tiring but dw none of us are alone in this

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