sometimes i cant tell if what’s going on is an intrusive thought or my inner racist. it’s hard as a poc bc being anti racist is such an integral part of my being that i can’t tell if i’m just fighting a racist part of myself or an intrusive thought bc either way i didn’t like what i was thinking but i can see why my mind chose that yk?

Elizabeth D.

Date posted: 4y

I’ve worked a lot with Internal Family Systems - a modality that is NOT specifically for OCD. It teaches that all of our parts matter and have a reason for what they do. I wonder if it might help to consider that your inner racist is a part of you that has a perspective and a reason for how they feel, even if it’s not aligned with your other parts or overall stance. Parts can have so many reasons for believing what they do - like beliefs being passed down from an ancestor or maybe they had a particular experience that led them to believe what they do. At the end of the day, I find it so helpful to befriend all of my parts as best I can. Oftentimes our natural inclination is to push them away or shame them instead of being curious about what’s going on with them.

Xxara

Date posted: 4y

oh i agree! again im a person of colour and i can even notice prejudices i have or preconceived notions i have within myself towards ppl of my own ethnicity/group. i find it interesting bc i know exactly where the thought or idea would stem from and why it’s harmful to both the groups involved and society as a whole. i’ve done a lot of research on anti racism etc., but i find i still struggle with parts of myself that i don’t like that bring up those sorts of thoughts and i’m like no i don’t like that thought or where it comes from, so reading what you wrote was pretty helpful! i appreciate it! it comes from a mixture of ocd and what you’re talking about i believe

Elizabeth D.

Date posted: 4y

Parts are usually relieved when you pay attention to them, so that might help you determine whether it’s a part or an intrusive thought.

Elizabeth D.

Date posted: 4y

@Xxara I’m glad you found it helpful! So much of my healing has come from learning how to work with and understand and offer relief to my parts. You might really like to check out Internal Family Systems. There are lots of books and many therapists offer it.

Xxara

Date posted: 4y

@Elizabeth D. i actually searched it up right after this and i’m starting to read about it now, it’s so interesting! i’ve never really thought of my mind in that aspect so it’s incredibly interesting to see all the different parts and the way they function and are interpreted yk?

OCDSucks21

Date posted: 4y

I’ve had the same experience. Until my OCD started, I never really noticed any sort of racist thoughts, but now a lot of times my brain almost seems to trick me into thinking them.

Xxara

Date posted: 4y

mhm! your brain likes to pick at things you know that you wouldn’t agree with or don’t currently agree with as an attempt to bother you, it’s super frustrating i agree

Xxara

Date posted: 4y

i very clearly was unhappy that i thought that so it doesn’t make me a certified racist bc i know i would’ve never made that connection or thought if not for my hypervigillance that comes with ocd but it’s so fucking annoying

Elizabeth D.

Date posted: 4y

Another thought is that you might be healing racism for the collective by healing the parts of you that hold it that are within yourself in addition to the work you are doing as an activist.

Xxara

Date posted: 4y

i like that idea! again racism and understanding all its facets and how to go against it are something i hold incredibly near and dear to my heart so viewing myself as parts is really cool it helps organize a lot of my mind

Elizabeth D.

Date posted: 4y

@Xxara Awesome! Honestly, I think that healing and loving our parts is how we heal the world.

Elizabeth D.

Date posted: 4y

@Elizabeth D. Or at least one way :)

Conquering_OCD

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25w

Knowing the difference

Does anyone have any advice for how to know the difference between ocd and real feelings/thoughts? Sometimes an intrusive thought will come in and I immediately know it’s ridiculous and I can just leave it alone and it won’t bother me but other times I really really don’t know. It’s when ocd hijacks and twists my real feelings and thoughts and tries to manipulate me into believing they’re something they’re not or something that doesn’t align with my true morals or intentions. But since it’s twisting and mixing with real feelings I get so confused and scared. Everything gets jumbled and I feel like I can’t trust myself or my own mind. Yet other times and other topics I can laugh off and push away just fine. Make it make sense. And then I start to think well maybe I don’t have ocd at all and I’m just in denial because I don’t want to accept that these scary/concerning things are true about myself. Or maybe that’s just the ocd talking.

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 24w

Help

I deal pretty heavily with this. The last couple days, I’ve had what I think are urges. Something pops into my head intrusively and then what stems from that is me WANTING to just indulge in it even though it’s gross. I get worried bc I used to struggle w thoughts about my dad for a long time until eventually I just purposely thought of him while self pleasuring and got off to it. While that’s something I did, it is NOT me. It all stemmed from my mental health declining a couple years back, I was never this way before. So I get worried that it almost happened or might happen with my pocd cuz I could never live with myself if it did.

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w

Idk if I think my intrusive thoughts

I been dealing with intrusive to the point it feels like I think them idk what to do I feel like a monster.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community