- Username
- Xxara
- Date posted
- 3y ago
like idk how erp is supposed to help me here i’d really love some guidance. bc it’s real events and feelings but i’m connecting it to something that has very little to do with the situation when i know that’s not smth i’m into or want to be into. im into men my age or older i know that so why does it feel like i’m in a courthouse being judged by a prosecutor that knows everything about me but is making assumptions based on what i know or think i know and a defendant that’s doubting itself
Hey! I’m going through the same thing at the moment. I keep thinking about characters i really admire and like that are kids and it scares me to even remember I like them. My mind keeps trying to tell me I must have only liked them in a gross sexual way but truthfully I just liked them like any other character. Like I like Starfire from Teen Titans just like Aang from Avatar the Last Airbender. It disgusts me because I realized my brain is trying to not make me enjoy the character at all even if it’s a perfectly normal liking to a character. And it even stops me from like men my age or older too cause I feel like I have some issue to resolve too. Just remember you’re thoughts do not define you. And what you felt in the past was perfectly normal, my own sister who doesn’t have this ocd likes Aang just like we would a child character and she knows it has nothing to do with anything sexual. I try to remember that. I’m going through this right now with you too, and we are going to get better! An affirmation that has helped me is “I expect love” it was hard at first but lately I’ve actually started to feel that way about myself. Hopes this helps💕
this made me tear up thank you so much i really appreciate it! im going to start saying that i think it’ll help
@Xxara Glad I could help! Sending love 💕
Hey there, I'm going through the same and idk if you would like to talk about this? Just if you want, my instagram is @anibalf51
Y'all this pocd is so stupid. I know myself. I'm a 21 year old woman who has literally been into older men since i was in elementary school lol. And I've been into my age and older too in women since 4th grade when i figured out i was bi. BUT, in all those years, I've never thought about children in the same manner. Kids actually always highly irritated me. Also, when someone I've dated acted too childish, i wasn't into it. The only thing I've been into is being the dominant over an ”innocent” acting person during sex. And this also goes with the daddy kink. BUT i never actually thought about kids in regards to these things. Literally nothing adds up to me wanting to seek out kids, but now, because of intrusive thoughts, I'm suddenly worried that I'm a pedophile? It's so stupid but here i am and i feel so gross and I'm so done. I don't want to worry anymore. I swear I'm a good person, i just want to believe it.
(tw: pocd) ive spent the whole morning obsessing about accidentally becoming okay with the content of my intrusions that now ive stopped feeling anything when i think about my obsession. it's like. i know pedophilia is wrong. there's literally no reason it's not wrong. i also know know that im not a pedophile (i can't explain how...i just feel certain.) but now ive like,, accidentally condoned the content of my intrusive thoughts? like some part of my head has gone all philosophical and is going "yeah you aren't attracted to kids, but you used to masturbate when you were a child, and studies prove that everyone has, so why is the idea of kids being sexual bad?" (but obviously it is!! i know that!!!) is that also an intrusive thought? it's not something i personally want to believe, although i almost don't feel enough anxiety to convince myself i don't. so now im like intellectually freaking out, almost like this is my ocds last ditch attempt to throw me back into it
Every time I look at a child now I have these feelings and groinials and thoughts that I just can’t tell if they’re real or not bc it feels like it’s real it feels like I’m denying I’m attracted to them or something when I just notice that they are cute and have like attractive faces/feautures? And sometimes it feels like I notice them like an adult :/ but sometimes like if it’s like a vid or something sometimes I think it’s someone older but then I see longer and I’m like oof it’s not 🫠 like ughhh I just hate this idk what to do and I don’t want to be become an abuser I’m scared like I’ll be like my abuser and i don’t feel anxious like before bc I had these thoughts come up since 2020
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