The reasons why I always think that it isnt hocd are 1. Hocd is not very common 2. I've never had any anxiety issues before Does anyone relate , please comment down

I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?

I haven't had anxiety for 1 week, I haven't had so many thoughts, but when it comes to sexuality I feel discomfort and I feel like something is pressing on my chest, it's very disturbing, and I still have attraction (false I hope), I wasn't diagnosed with hocd but I had all the symptoms, (now I don't have anxiety anymore, except when a feeling that I'm gay appears), I no longer felt that strong need to watch videos on yt or look for things that would make me feel comfortable, so somehow I managed to keep this under control, but I don't know if it's recovery or if I'm just lying to myself that I'm not gay. If anyone has any ideas, I hope they write something here

I think i am getting better and i try to ignore my undiagnosed hocd but sometimes is really hard,the weird dreams,and sometimes idk if someone has this my mind is talking for myself like “i am bi” and i get really scared or completing things and is horrible and i have a compulsion and a fear for the feauture like what if i like girls and i dont want to let me or something else and i get really scared and i just know i am not bi i get scared when i am next to girls and anxiety and i want to be me again without hocd(i always had ocd but hocd is hell ) The hocd simptoms came like 3 months ago i started asking myself if i liked my friend just because we were understanding eachother better,then i saw i girl after a few days and i like how lashes suited her then my mind was telling me that i like her then a fear started,i vomited felt scared(i didnt know about hocd) and started feeling depressed,having intrusive thoughts all day,compulsions, dreams and then i found out abt hocd i felt better because i knew ways to feel better,TIPS if someone has this find a hobby to clear your mind,pray,meditate,and talk to someone But i just cant accept the uncertinty i just dont find normal sorry