- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
One thing for me is watching Men’s Olympic swimming and diving. The Speedos increase my anxiety, but I genuinely love watching the diving so I just sit and watch.
- Date posted
- 4y
Hello I just need someone to listen , I’ve been conversing with my mom about this a lot, but since I’ve been talking to her I feel like it’s gotten better , I’ve had hocd for 2 months, and I know that I’m not gay or anything in between, I love women, I’ve always had , but recently I don’t feel like myself , I try to picture myself with a man but , whenever I do I get anxiety, and the same thing happens whenever I watch gay porn , I feel sick to my stomach every time I watch it , before 2 months ago I was always into women , always , I had girlfriends , and I still do , I have a beautiful girlfriend that I truly do love , but I’ve thought that dudes were good loooking , I’d go to the gym and be like ah , that’s a good looking man right there , but I know that doesn’t mean I’m gay because I’ve never wanted to sleep with a dude , and now that these thoughts are here I feel helpless , I’m scared to go out in public because I feel like I’m gonna be attracted to dudes in that way , but I’ve never had been before , SO ocd truly does suck , I don’t wanna feel like this anymore , thank you for listening
- Date posted
- 4y
i wrote out a worst case scenario and make myself read it every day. like, a story about what i’m afraid will happen coming true. it’s terrifying but it’s helping!!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
I haven't been able to read about experiences similar to mine when it comes to my perfectionism OCD so I was wondering if anyone had any "uncommon" experiences.
- Date posted
- 22w
My biggest is ruminating, i talk and talk and over share with myself and others Like what are some exposures?
- Date posted
- 20w
I don't really know if these will count as ocd 'proof' and I'm almost trying to prove to myself that I have ocd at this point. I really don't know. And these don't even mention my current themes (pocd, soocd) and rocd but its kind of stopping idk. So here's what I wrote do you think it's worth mentioning or it even counts as ocd idk? -Blinking in a certain way, breathing in a certain manner till it feels right, making sure that im breathing right, holding my breath for a bit again and again, made sounds that disturbed others (my mom) because of that. -Focusing too much on my eyesight and what i see to make sure I don't have symptoms of an Illness in the eye, checking my body reactions a lot and getting scared. Checking my pulse regularly for a heart attack. Fear of dying, researching random illnesses of symptoms I have -When i was a child I pictured my family dying a lot and got intrusive thoughts about their heads being cut off, especially in Eid El adha (where we basically sacrifice cows and sheep) I couldn't handle being there because I was scared that the guy killing the cow will accidentally cut my mom's head instead and I'd picture it so graphically. random intrusive thoughts about me doing harm to others but they didn't make me anxious just disturbed, fear that someone will get in the house and kill my whole family since I was a child that I have a slight fear of doorbells. Can be sensitive to gorey images but not always a persistent fear unless I'm focused on it. In the streets I get stressed out by cars around me because I get thoughts that someone will shoot me and kill me from the car. Fear of dying in general as a kid I saw a video that talked about if you see fish in your dream it means you'll die soon and I wasn't able to sleep for a long time without literally collapsing out of tiredness because I was scared of sleeping and dying in my sleep. -Irrational fears when I hear really loud sounds, as a kid I'd hear sounds of parties or so and it stresses me out because I got intrusive thoughts about someone playing party songs but killing everyone in the enjoyment of the killing. Doorbell sounds stress me out and I keep hearing the doorbell ringing in my ears a lot that I check the door randomly sometimes. -When I play games I have to do things a certain way and I can click on a button multiple times in a different pattern until it feels right, repeating prayers constantly until they feel right. Same with the breathing from before idk if these count -I question morals a lot, I'm not sure If it's in an ocd manner but I am really scared of being a bad person with bad morals, I get scared I'm racist and sometimes I see someone from a different race and I get racist thoughts like racial slurs or so get in my head, I question morals in general a lot and the idea of them and why they exist. And that makes me scared that I'm just a terrible person and I don't want to be. I can fixate on "trying to do what's right" too much that I end up messing up more -Immense guilt on things from a long time ago that I already dealt with. -what I'd say my worst compulsions are (pure o I think) : Checking constantly, feelings or thoughts or reactions. Sneaky reassurance seeking from friends and confessing my thoughts. Excessive ruminating trying to find an answer, can take so long out of my life that I can't eat or drink. Researching my thoughts and asking people. Repeating prayers in my head constantly even though I'm not religious anymore but I get so disturbed by my thoughts.
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