Sorry if I haven't explained this well. Does anyone else with SO OCD have a trigger of women that are sexualised in films? At first I'm like freaking out cos my brain is like "she's sexy" (even though that's the point) and is like "straight girls don't find other women sexy" and have this intimidation thing where they feel like child or a boy (or less of a woman) around women like that. When I was younger I used to look up to pretty girls cos they were considered popular and cool and like you know hug them and hang out with them (like little girls do) but my brain is now like "you did that because you're bi, and you only want to be friends with pretty girls which isn't normal and makes you gay". Just wanted it to be said that I do NOT care about appearance. Only personality. I grew up that way and still am that way. I used to be aware of that I was the "ugly" friend growing up so I would try to improve myself to look like pretty girls and my ocd is playing off that and twisting it. I couldn't care less what people looked like, only whether they were a good person or not. Always has been that way for me. But like now, after my ocd started I have an issue with sexualised women and even not because of the intrusive thoughts, but just cos it makes me feel weird and anxious and idk if that's because of the trauma of ocd. Idk. Just want to see if others go through a similar thing??

So I’ve SOOCD since I was in 8 th grade and it got really bad when I had an intrusive thought as to what if I was bi. And ever since then I’ve had self destructive behavior to where I would think the thoughts on purpose or about women and checking them out and flirting with them. ( I identify as straight) and over time these thoughts and self destructive behavior hasn’t bothered me and now they feel apart of me I know apart of it is ocd but also it’s me like me willingly looking at women and me wanting to have sexual thoughts or feel aroused and in reality if I never had ocd I would never think this way I could live without women and never sleeping with them I do have a bf and I love him and am attracted to him rn thought bc of what happened last night with a women it’s hard to feel that can anyone relate?

I went out last night with a couple of girlfriends. One of them is contemplating divorcing her husband bc of a drinking problem (she is straight) and made a joke about running off and joining the “lesbian island”. She then continues to say “making out with a girl is one thing” but that she could never actually BE with a woman sexually, etc. Well… this has triggered my SO OCD significantly because I’m thinking, well why does she think it’s okay to just kiss/make-out if she doesn’t identity as bisexual? I mean she is beautiful and I’ve heard all my straight friends say the same thing. So I start to worry by thinking, well I find her very attractive - does that mean I want to make out with her and see what she’s talking about? Just to note, I also identify as straight and am married. So this is just so damn frustrating and confusing. Especially bc society shows women kissing all the time on reality tv shows etc (who present themselves as straight). So now I’m having intrusive thoughts and making myself think sexual things to “check” if I’m still straight. Ughh..any advice would be greatly appreciated. And if someone could please explain why a straight woman would make such a comment - that would be very helpful.

Just tired af... Anyone else feels like everything is a lie all the time and there is no "before the OCD I was boy crazy" just the OCD since forever... or denial because of that aspect? Really struggeling with the physical aspect of SOOCD : looking at a women's body and really feeling something and getting turned on and looking at a man's and not feeling anything... I just dont understand! I asked my friends and many of them said they dont feel anything looking at a man's body as well (they're straight) but also looking at a women's doesnt feel like much. I just dont understand ughhhh