I can’t stop thinking existential thoughts I can’t take it anymore. Whenever anything good happens I think them.

I have all kinds of thoughts that aren’t me it feels like someone is talking to me telling me evil things about people or to do evil things 😞😞😞😞 I can’t do this anymore

I can’t stop thinking about death today. Not like suicide or pondering how I could die. Just more so I’m going to die. It’s like. I was eating my pizza today listening to music and looking at the clouds. And I was like I love this this is amazing. And then Brain says “ur gonna die one day btw” Or I redid my wallpaper on my phone and I love the way it looks. I unlock my screen and admire the vibe I’ve created. And then brain says “one day you’ll be dead” When I feel a moment of joy or happiness or peace is when the thought screams at me. I’m really unsettled and distraught about thinking about being dead one day. This doesn’t come up often like other thoughts I have but I hate this one because it’s hard to cope with. Because I do the things and “techniques” to make them quieter. But then immediately Brain says “why are u even trying tho. It’s pointless because you’ll be dead one day.” Any advice ??

I CAN'T STOP THOUGHTS. I think about meaning of life, time, afterlife and other shit. I can't stop thinking. I cannot distract myself. When my thoughts are the worst I'm thinking about su*cide, and it scares me because I'm not suicidal and I don't want to die. But what if I do something with myself? Please I want any advice what to do, I can't afford therapy at the moment