My dad gave me money for the theatre a few days ago I didn’t have thoughts then ... he’s a good dad why do I have thoughts of harming him rn wtf I hate myself he doesn’t deserve me having These thoughts whyyyyyy what is wrong with my head

My brain is making me feel like I wanna do the harm to my family … and is questioning how haven’t I done it yet like wtf??? My thoughts sound crazy

I used to never have these thoughts it feels like im a different person and im so sad . I watched a TikTok of a girl with her kid and my Brain says how has she not killed her kid yet like wtf cus I get so many thoughts I’m shocked other ppl don’t and now my Brian says how I have I not hurt my dad . I keep posting and I shouldn’t but I feel not normal

I’m trying to let them pass not engage nothing , trying to compusle but the thoughts won’t leave. My brain keeps telling me I should stab my dad for not asking if I’m okay after the death of my ex …