- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
i am on anxiety meds that make me have vivid dreams & it’s hard for me to drift off to sleep. i cant be alone with my ocd because it just eats away at my brain slowly in silence so i put on meditation music, but even then i cant sleep until i actually am drained. i am so miserable inside. i thought i was happy but genuinely nothing is worse than pocd. i have pvc’s & horrible anxiety & depression & have almost died from septic shock...but nothing comes close to the pain of your own brain turning against you & putting horrific images in your head. truly.
- Date posted
- 4y
This is exactly how I felt last night. I finished the ocd program a while ago and was doing much better, then all of the sudden it started ravaging my thoughts again. I cried last night about it for the first time in a while. I keep thinking it makes no sense, that I could never enjoy these thoughts. I feel so hopeless and like I cant live this way. Times like this we need to be really really strong and do some ERP. Even if its gotta be done over and over again. Try not to let it trick you. And try to except doubt and uncertainty, because the doubt is what really keeps it going
- Date posted
- 4y
i am so sorry you’re dealing with this too. for months i felt like i was slowly getting better & it only took one triggering thing that i read to make all that not matter. i know who i am & i am a good person, it’s just the constant doubt & guilt & anxiety that never leaves me alone that makes me feel like “what if this isn’t ocd??” & i hate myself even more. even though i would never even do anything that my intrusive thoughts put into my head, they’re my biggest fears. :(
- Date posted
- 4y
I understand you, it's really hard trying to make it through the day knowing I'm NOT alright and no one around would really understand :( I'm not trying to provide reassurance, but I just want you to know that's what ocd does. You can be fairly certain you dont feel a certain way, but theres always that "what if"
- Date posted
- 4y
Also remember, with the right treatment, certainty isnt what we aim for anyways
- Date posted
- 4y
thank you. your kindness means a lot. i wish the best for u! hopefully one day we don’t have to suffer with this anymore. :)
- Date posted
- 4y
You're welcome, I read your post and it felt like I was reading my own words, so I had to let you know you weren't alone. I feel better using the techniques I was taught. Theyll work for you too I'm sure
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
man these few weeks have been so hard. i’m in the process of getting diagnosed with ocd, im almost positive i have it because everything on here relates to me on an insane level. but im just so scared dude. these thoughts of me harming someone are so scary and im so scared im gonna eventually act on them and i know i never want to but its still so scary. like sometimes when i talk to my mom about it i think in the back of my head “you know you want to” when i dont, and it makes me think or gets me scared that i do. these thoughts literally just happened out of nowhere and it messes me up so bad my literal perspective on life in general is just messed up. like i view life as its more common to be a bad person and its rare/hard to be good. can someone please just pray for me or just wish me better days. i dont even like looking at myself anymore and im scared i give off creepy vibes to myself or others now, this sucks so much
- Date posted
- 16w
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
- Date posted
- 15w
i feel the need to say sorry because i’m posting yet again. i’m having a REALLY DIFFICULT episode of ocd that i haven’t had for a few months now. i experience contamination ocd everyday and have constant anxiety attacks, however because that’s so normal to me and doesn’t affect anyone but myself, it doesn’t affect me in the same way harm ocd does. i haven’t had to deal with really bad harm ocd thoughts for a good bit now so i’m struggling so bad right now. if anyone has seen my previous posts (which i’m sure you have), this came about over a small change that happened a couple weeks ago. it’s now blossoming into a full episode. it’s making me feel paralyzed and not want to do anything, but i know in the past i had to force myself to distract myself by actually doing things. i’m supposed to hang out with my friend tomorrow, but i’m so close to cancelling because i feel like i can’t do it. my physical symptoms are also worse than what i feel like i’m used to and it’s terrifying me into thinking i’m gonna get sick. i just don’t know how to get through it. it feels like impending doom and constant panic. i just want to feel like myself again and happy
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond