- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
i am on anxiety meds that make me have vivid dreams & it’s hard for me to drift off to sleep. i cant be alone with my ocd because it just eats away at my brain slowly in silence so i put on meditation music, but even then i cant sleep until i actually am drained. i am so miserable inside. i thought i was happy but genuinely nothing is worse than pocd. i have pvc’s & horrible anxiety & depression & have almost died from septic shock...but nothing comes close to the pain of your own brain turning against you & putting horrific images in your head. truly.
- Date posted
- 3y
This is exactly how I felt last night. I finished the ocd program a while ago and was doing much better, then all of the sudden it started ravaging my thoughts again. I cried last night about it for the first time in a while. I keep thinking it makes no sense, that I could never enjoy these thoughts. I feel so hopeless and like I cant live this way. Times like this we need to be really really strong and do some ERP. Even if its gotta be done over and over again. Try not to let it trick you. And try to except doubt and uncertainty, because the doubt is what really keeps it going
- Date posted
- 3y
i am so sorry you’re dealing with this too. for months i felt like i was slowly getting better & it only took one triggering thing that i read to make all that not matter. i know who i am & i am a good person, it’s just the constant doubt & guilt & anxiety that never leaves me alone that makes me feel like “what if this isn’t ocd??” & i hate myself even more. even though i would never even do anything that my intrusive thoughts put into my head, they’re my biggest fears. :(
- Date posted
- 3y
I understand you, it's really hard trying to make it through the day knowing I'm NOT alright and no one around would really understand :( I'm not trying to provide reassurance, but I just want you to know that's what ocd does. You can be fairly certain you dont feel a certain way, but theres always that "what if"
- Date posted
- 3y
Also remember, with the right treatment, certainty isnt what we aim for anyways
- Date posted
- 3y
thank you. your kindness means a lot. i wish the best for u! hopefully one day we don’t have to suffer with this anymore. :)
- Date posted
- 3y
You're welcome, I read your post and it felt like I was reading my own words, so I had to let you know you weren't alone. I feel better using the techniques I was taught. Theyll work for you too I'm sure
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
- Date posted
- 16w
man these few weeks have been so hard. i’m in the process of getting diagnosed with ocd, im almost positive i have it because everything on here relates to me on an insane level. but im just so scared dude. these thoughts of me harming someone are so scary and im so scared im gonna eventually act on them and i know i never want to but its still so scary. like sometimes when i talk to my mom about it i think in the back of my head “you know you want to” when i dont, and it makes me think or gets me scared that i do. these thoughts literally just happened out of nowhere and it messes me up so bad my literal perspective on life in general is just messed up. like i view life as its more common to be a bad person and its rare/hard to be good. can someone please just pray for me or just wish me better days. i dont even like looking at myself anymore and im scared i give off creepy vibes to myself or others now, this sucks so much
- Date posted
- 14w
i’m having a full on panic attack, i never used to be like this, what tf is happening to me, why am i like this, i’m so convinced i’m a horrible person and i deserve to be shut out forever because of my thoughts, i’m tired of struggling with harm ocd, i’m scared that because i have mental health issues i’m gonna end up ki!!ing someone someday or end up on the news, when i was at work earlier i kept thinking “how easy would it be to ki!! someone and get away with it” someone help, i don’t feel normal, am i crazy?… 😭😭i know that with ocd you’re not supposed to have reassurance and you have to be “okay” with the situation but.. how am i supposed to be okay with feeling like i could hurt someone…
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