I'm very nervous to start therapy, I get scared that I don't have ROCD and that I don't love my boyfriend and need to break up

I am extremely nervous for my first session with a NOCD therapist. I feel myself tapping and counting more, what if he doesn’t like me? What if I’m not open enough? What if I talk too much? What if I tell things I don’t want to tell. Is this the right platform for OCD/ROCD ? Can’t sleep.

I feel like my Rocd has become more sophisticated. It’s made me feel as if my healthy loving boyfriend is this terrible person. Or I’ll be thinking to myself like “I love him”, and in middle thought I get “no you don’t”. It’s convinced me that our values and beliefs are just TOO different (we’ve only disagreed on one thing in our relationship, but we talk it out). It’s like my ocd is clinging on to every reason why I should break up, like I don’t want this anymore, even tho I do! It’s frustrating. And the idea of doing erp terrifies me. Because I’m afraid if I do erp statements, that I’ll agree with them. Can someone give insight

I keep having this overwhelming thought of "I need to break up with her," however I really don't want to. It causes me so much anxiety when I try to fight the urge to the point that I'm bed ridden and unable to work. Is this normal for ROCD or am I just fighting my actual feelings?