It feels like I don’t care about my partner because I don’t think about him before bed every night anymore. (I mean we fall asleep on the phone together) We’ve been long distance for 10 months since he joined the military and although I cherish every single memory I had with him. The truth is that my ocd and anxiety hit me very very hard after he left and I don’t feel like the person I used to be when he was here anymore. I try to be but I’m so traumatized from all these consistent thoughts. When I think about past memories I feel like a liar or like they weren’t real because of soocd and rocd so it hurts because they were the best moments of my life and now they’re under constant question. I just long to have him in my now and to make sure we’re still in love and create new memories. It hurts that he’s not here to ease my anxiety like before. I’ve never wanted to love anyone the way I do with him. It’s my most treasured bond and I’m so sick of feeling like it’s not.