What does it mean when I’m no longer googling endlessly about hocd but the thoughts are still semi there ?? It gets me confused

Sexual Orientation OCD

same i am ruminating way less, and there's not much anxiety but i feel like it's still there :(

and it's mostly worst during the night time and before sleep 

Yea I still ruminate as well mostly at work and I still get the false attraction and the worst for me the loss of libido 

i experience this on my good days, and it sounds like you’re getting better. as the compulsions go down, so will the anxiety and the volume of the thoughts. hang in there :)