Can Harm OCD make you want to believe that if you act on the thought you will actually get relief. Even though you know you would never do it its driving me crazy and full pf panic

Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢

I think i have ocd. Two years ago i had a few panic attack and person related obsessions that i couldnt get over. Now since i’m free of college and work i have an intrusive thought about hitting myself. It is panicking and i don’t know what to do. I have already acted twice on the thoughts but now my mind says i have to hit harder… i know it sounds weird, but does anyone have any tips etc..? :)

Can harm ocd give you thoughts like when you’re in front of a trigger “why don’t you do it” and sometimes I either freeze don’t know what to do with myself and then an urge to throw the item away. Is this something else? And sometimes I get thoughts like “what if I’m lying to myself” and “do you think you’re lying to yourself”