What if i don't love him as much as he loves me this thought is devouring me

My boyfriend just poured his heart out to me. He told me how much pain he’s in — how disconnected he feels from me, how hurt he is that we’re not intimate, that I don’t react to his love, that we don’t feel like a couple anymore. He said things that should’ve broken my heart… but I felt nothing. Nothing. And now I’m terrified. Not just scared — destroyed by the thought that maybe I really don’t love him, and I’ve just been lying to myself this entire time. I keep thinking: “If I loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?” “Why didn’t I cry? Why didn’t I reach for him? Why didn’t I say ‘I’m sorry’?” “What kind of person listens to someone they care about and feels absolutely nothing?” I feel like I’ve been fighting this for so long — like I’ve spent months, maybe even years, battling the same thoughts over and over again: “You don’t love him.” “You’re just used to him.” “You want to want him — but you don’t.” And what makes it worse is that everyone around me says the same thing: “Maybe you’re forcing it.” “You can’t control how you feel.” “If you’re this confused, that means something.” But what no one seems to understand is that I’ve tried so hard. I didn’t want this. I didn’t choose to become cold. I didn’t choose to stop feeling things. I didn’t want to lose my ability to love — or to connect — or to just exist next to him without questioning every single breath I take. I feel like I’ve become someone else. Someone who doesn’t react. Someone who doesn’t smile when he’s kind. Someone who doesn’t feel warmth when he says “I love you.” But this isn’t who I was. There was a time when I loved hearing his voice. When I looked forward to seeing him. When I felt. And now… nothing. Just this endless cycle of doubt, guilt, numbness, fear, and the horrible thought: “If it feels this real, maybe it is.” I don’t know what this is anymore. I feel like I’m hurting him. And I feel like I’m losing myself, too. And the most terrifying part? I don’t feel anything about that either. But if I truly didn’t care — why does this hurt so much? If anyone else has ever felt like this… please, please tell me I’m not alone. I don’t want this to be the truth. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this.

my thoughts are screaming at me telling me that i dont want my relationship anymore and that i realized i lost feelings. i have a beautiful relationship of two years with a beautiful boy that loves me dearly and i deal with this thoughs for a year and a half. Im so scared it feels so real im scared i have changed and my last therapy session made it worse she basically told me i have to realise the thoughts are true and stop lying to myself. And made me think i am so scared and heartbroken bc i put high expectations on myslef to be with my boyfriend for all my life. Maybe i dont want to hurt him??? im always questioning my feelings for him 24/7 for over a year. I wm tierd

My boyfriend is telling me every time im anxious, that if i didnt like him (i always think that i dont love him) i wouldnt suffer this much over my thoughts, and i could have just leave him. Its very true but i dont feel better at all and im thinking that i dont want to hurt hum or that im used to him and dont want to accept the reality and thats why i suffer because i am a good person???? im so sad and scared and anxious.