i feel like i don’t deserve the care my parents are giving me bc i’m so convinced i’m an awful person and i don’t understand how ppl without ocd that do bad things don’t feel this guilt at the shit they do i don’t understand it bc by anyone’s standards i didn’t rlly do anything wrong but i feel so distraught bc i don’t want to hurt anyone but i’m scared i could’ve

I genuinely feel like the worlds most horrible person deeply for my past actions in childhood and general mistakes I’ve made. I feel like I shouldn’t be here or there’s no hope for me despite doing right ( trying to do right ) I’ve wanted to open up to my mom about things from my past but when I was talking to her about a situation that happened just to share, she was like “Thank God you’ve never done anything like that” But really my past mistakes are worst. It’s like I feel like I should disappear. I don’t know how to deal with the guilt and I feel horrible. I’ve made good and bad decisions but despite this being a long time ago ( which doesn’t erase my stupid actions ) I still keep bringing back into the present and I’m filled with guilt I genuinely think it would be better if I wasn’t here. I wake up think about my past things and I’m filled with guilt and shame that maybe I am a bad person and voices don’t stop, they keep telling me a lot of things that I start to believe. It makes me upset that I did something like that in my past and I try to be understanding but I can imagine the reactions of people and being condemned so much. I literally do this to myself every single day and it’s exhausting I don’t know how you guys can treat me with so much compassion and understanding. It really doesn’t feel real or like I deserve it. Like even on nocd, it makes me feel worst because I come across comments that say “as long as it’s not —-“ or something and I compare it to my past and I feel like a horrible unacceptable person.

cause immense guilt when receiving gifts? Or when someone is nice to you, the guilt just floods every vein of your existence. I feel so awful :( awful about my compulsions, about some of my thoughts, about who OCD has made me. My boyfriend just gifted me something, and I have such a heavy feeling in my chest. Worst part is: when I’m not feeling guilty I’m spiraling over that gift was enough, if it could’ve been “better.” I feel like an idiot. I don’t understand why I’m like this

i’ve done so many horrible things and i’m just so scared that i don’t deserve anything good in life