Oh my God I read the NOCD article on trans OCD. It said specifically that trans OCD is about not being able to handle the uncertainty and not discomfort with one's gender. I never had that discomfort before but now I do. Oh my God. It has to be that I'm trans then. And the worst part is, after typing that I felt relieved. Usually it's the opposite, I feel relieved after coming to the conclusion I'm female.
After typing that my anxiety is gone. That proves it. I'm trans. I'm officially convinced of it. It doesn't align with my past in any way, but this just doesn't fit trans OCD.
As a person with TOCD, I know that my brain always likes to play that trick of saying that it's gender dysphoria But no matter how much does it convince me, I always feel that sense of denial in my heart that it's not the person who I am and that it doesn't connect with my past and the person I dream of.
Another thing to keep in mind is, OCD can develop fake urges and feelings, while confusing the mind to believe in something I always noticed how as soon as I'm out an OCD Episode, I can feel how fake those thoughts are in a clear mind, Rather then my over anxious mind Also, researching about Gender Dysphoria and Other Transgender stuff has became a straight compulsion to me
Sadly, Researching about Gender Dysphoria and other stuff always brings me relief that I'm not experiencing it and that I'm in the clear However, it soon became my compulsion, as I would instantly research about that stuff whenever the TOCD bothered me, in the search of "relief" Which put me in the Cycle of OCD 😔
Researching it does the opposite for me, I do it as a compulsion and feel worse every time. I'm pretty sure I have to be trans
That also happened to me, this happens when your WAY down into the cycle of OCD
I would recommend to stop doing any compulsions, as you gotta remember that OCD is not about the thoughts but the compulsions making them so much worse