- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Oh my God I read the NOCD article on trans OCD. It said specifically that trans OCD is about not being able to handle the uncertainty and not discomfort with one's gender. I never had that discomfort before but now I do. Oh my God. It has to be that I'm trans then. And the worst part is, after typing that I felt relieved. Usually it's the opposite, I feel relieved after coming to the conclusion I'm female.
After typing that my anxiety is gone. That proves it. I'm trans. I'm officially convinced of it. It doesn't align with my past in any way, but this just doesn't fit trans OCD.
As a person with TOCD, I know that my brain always likes to play that trick of saying that it's gender dysphoria But no matter how much does it convince me, I always feel that sense of denial in my heart that it's not the person who I am and that it doesn't connect with my past and the person I dream of.
Another thing to keep in mind is, OCD can develop fake urges and feelings, while confusing the mind to believe in something I always noticed how as soon as I'm out an OCD Episode, I can feel how fake those thoughts are in a clear mind, Rather then my over anxious mind Also, researching about Gender Dysphoria and Other Transgender stuff has became a straight compulsion to me
Sadly, Researching about Gender Dysphoria and other stuff always brings me relief that I'm not experiencing it and that I'm in the clear However, it soon became my compulsion, as I would instantly research about that stuff whenever the TOCD bothered me, in the search of "relief" Which put me in the Cycle of OCD đ
Researching it does the opposite for me, I do it as a compulsion and feel worse every time. I'm pretty sure I have to be trans
That also happened to me, this happens when your WAY down into the cycle of OCD
I would recommend to stop doing any compulsions, as you gotta remember that OCD is not about the thoughts but the compulsions making them so much worse
I'm so tired đ I've been dealing with severe trans ocd for a month. My ocd is making me worry I'm a trans man. The thing is. I'm already out as nonbinary. I also compulsively confessed to my mom and told her I'm anxious I'll realize I'm a trans man and that I'm scared she'll hate me/abandon me. And she told me she would support me through it and my life even if she didn't understand it and that she wouldn't abandon me. I do like some masculine terms and I like he pronouns, I prefer they/them though. And I don't mind she, but I dont let people use it because I know they'll use it to misgender me. and that doesnt mean im a man. But I also don't know what I actually like/feel or what's OCD making me think I like/feel.. I can't stop ruminating and feeling like I need to label my gender pass nonbinary and think about if I feel like a man or not. So even when my biggest fear was denied I'm still anxious.
Iâm 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Donât get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you wonât prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you havenât tried it: and itâs that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I donât want I donât want I donât want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I donât wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
Does anyone have any advice for how to know the difference between ocd and real feelings/thoughts? Sometimes an intrusive thought will come in and I immediately know itâs ridiculous and I can just leave it alone and it wonât bother me but other times I really really donât know. Itâs when ocd hijacks and twists my real feelings and thoughts and tries to manipulate me into believing theyâre something theyâre not or something that doesnât align with my true morals or intentions. But since itâs twisting and mixing with real feelings I get so confused and scared. Everything gets jumbled and I feel like I canât trust myself or my own mind. Yet other times and other topics I can laugh off and push away just fine. Make it make sense. And then I start to think well maybe I donât have ocd at all and Iâm just in denial because I donât want to accept that these scary/concerning things are true about myself. Or maybe thatâs just the ocd talking.
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