- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh my God I read the NOCD article on trans OCD. It said specifically that trans OCD is about not being able to handle the uncertainty and not discomfort with one's gender. I never had that discomfort before but now I do. Oh my God. It has to be that I'm trans then. And the worst part is, after typing that I felt relieved. Usually it's the opposite, I feel relieved after coming to the conclusion I'm female.
After typing that my anxiety is gone. That proves it. I'm trans. I'm officially convinced of it. It doesn't align with my past in any way, but this just doesn't fit trans OCD.
As a person with TOCD, I know that my brain always likes to play that trick of saying that it's gender dysphoria But no matter how much does it convince me, I always feel that sense of denial in my heart that it's not the person who I am and that it doesn't connect with my past and the person I dream of.
Another thing to keep in mind is, OCD can develop fake urges and feelings, while confusing the mind to believe in something I always noticed how as soon as I'm out an OCD Episode, I can feel how fake those thoughts are in a clear mind, Rather then my over anxious mind Also, researching about Gender Dysphoria and Other Transgender stuff has became a straight compulsion to me
Sadly, Researching about Gender Dysphoria and other stuff always brings me relief that I'm not experiencing it and that I'm in the clear However, it soon became my compulsion, as I would instantly research about that stuff whenever the TOCD bothered me, in the search of "relief" Which put me in the Cycle of OCD š
Researching it does the opposite for me, I do it as a compulsion and feel worse every time. I'm pretty sure I have to be trans
That also happened to me, this happens when your WAY down into the cycle of OCD
I would recommend to stop doing any compulsions, as you gotta remember that OCD is not about the thoughts but the compulsions making them so much worse
2 nights ago I saw something on my phone and it has now spiraled into me scared of being trans or being gay because i donāt want to be⦠now i have a huge fear of what if i am gay and am attracted to woman or what if im not comfortable in my body and want to turn into a man. Itās freaking me out - my ocd always makes me question my character! Has anyone experienced this š©
Is it normal for this theme to legit make you feel like youāre the opposite gender and thatās what you want to be and itās very convincing? And you just keep getting images and scenarios in ur head of you transitioning and actually going through with it? This is sooo scary and i donāt feel like myself at all anymore. Itās making me not feel like a woman or myself of how Iāve always been my whole life. Iām really nervous and scared, itās really make me feel like this is my true feelings/ self ): itās causing me to feel weird k. My own body and feel weird about my body parts. Like my brain is literally thinking as a trans person would feel or think like wtf??? Is this normal?!? Pls someone let me know. & and itās making me feel like Iām attracted to woman all the sudden and i keep getting flashes of that in my head. Iām in a relationship and im scared this is gonna ruin things bc the way this theme is making me feel and my body. Ugh ihml, need some advice. Has anyone experienced exactly this??
Does anyone else here daydream maladaptively? Well, I do a lot and my OCD has latched onto that as āproofā that my fear is real due to do contents of my daydreams. To preface Iām 14 and most of my daydreams consist of boys that I like so like 85% of my day is just me daydreaming about these boys in a fantasy world that I built in my head for them. The thing is I have ADHD and Iām super hyperactive and I require a lot of movement to engage in my daydreams (and with engaging in anything in general tbh) so Iām always just randomly walking/running around the house daydreaming. Anyway sometimes Iāll make the same faces my character makes in the daydream and also do like hand movements they do. And Iāve been ruminating about this for months because Iām like ādoes that count as imagining myself as a boy?ā due to the fact that most of the characters in my daydreaming world are male and I panic. I would never imagine myself as a boy in that sense because it makes me uncomfortable, like ever since I got this theme, whenever I walk by a mirror I get these intrusive images of the boy I like starring back at me in the mirror and I get super uncomfortable. Itās like a punch in the gut. I donāt want to look like those boys at all and I know that if I was one of them I would hate my appearance and hate looking in the mirror, no matter how attractive they are. Or when Iām doing something my OCD will imagine ME doing it as a boy like in first person and with the intent of me being a boy and that also really triggers me because thatās not what I want and it makes me real uncomfortable. What I DO want is to daydream about boys, but not about being a boy. But isnāt that what Iāve been doing this whole time without realizing? Like Iām so wrapped in my daydreams that when Iām doing anything I go āHm I wonder what [my crush] would do in this situationā and imagine him doing it but in a completely different setting and with some changes to the activity added. That really scares me because I go āwhat if that means Iām a boyā and I get really distressed because I donāt wanna be a boy. I donāt view any of the boys on my daydream as me at all and like, I donāt daydream with the intent to be a boy because thatās the least of my desires, all I do is want to think about boys because boys are cute ofc and I like them. But Iām still really scared. Is my OCD possibly twisting things or am I in denial? :(
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