Does anyone ever get an intrusive thought then blanks out? One time I had a thought were I lit my bus driver on fire, then I blanked out and made two laps around school having no idea what I was doing.

Basically I had a bad violent intruisve thought and I was scrolling through instagram story and on the chat box underneath my mind made me write it down on the reply box but I didn’t send it I wrote it down then got rid of it liked cleared it now I’m like why did my mind make me write that . ! Now I’m like omg why did I write that will anything happen or am I overthinking?

i had thoughts of “planning” to harm my boyfriend. we have a trip coming up and my intrusive thoughts were telling me “nobody will know if you harm him all the way over there”, then my mind started rambling on like “everyone will know-“ and so on and so forth, it actually made me feel like i was contemplating on doing something and now it feels like im turning evil ): has anyone had thoughts like this?

I wanted to ask if it is possible to purposely think of an intrusive thought and then shifting your mind instantly to something else? Is it still an intrusive thought if you have been thinking of it 'purposely' for a second? I dont know how else to explain it, but it felt like I was purposely thinking of it. Anyone else had similar experience what happened during intimate moments like masturbation I feel so ashamed cuz the thoughts are so bad they're either about family members children and stuff like that it feels like I think it I just want to know if I'm not alone I feel like a monster because it feels like I thought these things or like I did think these things and I don't know what to do I feel so ashamed and grossed I need help I just want to know if anyone had a similar experience to shed light on because I don't know I feel so isolated