Does faking it till you make it work in terms of anxiety and rOCD? I’ve been struggling a lot lately with anxiety and when I get anxious I get fearful, the fear turns into defense...it’s a terrible cycle that I feel is killing my relationship. (My boyfriend and I are pretty much committed to each other for life and that’s been helping me with my rOCD as of recent, I don’t have thoughts that I’m going to lose him but more thoughts that I’m going to fall out of love, that I’m going to mess things up, that things will never get better when they’re bad). Not to mention our sex life has been stalled...we are transitioning from a LDR to in person relationship right now. My boyfriend brings up the point that both of us are pretty much beginners and it wasn’t as though we have ever have been sexually active before. So a brief time of not doing anything sexual to him and I, isn’t a big deal. Still I get caught up in the “but other people seem to be doing this” a lot.. a LOT. Back to my question. I’m very anxious over little things, I often need control not just in this relationship but my family relationships too. Would it be okay if I....faked not needing control? I think if I suppressed that need to control, then maybe I’d see that people don’t need me to control...leading me to break that cycle. Then I’d stop worrying so much, and maybe I’d start feeling okay in all of my relationships. But I’m not sure. Sorry for the rant.

I’m figuring that if I can just suppress my urge to control for a bit the happiness it will bring the others around me will help me. But the OCD makes me feel like if it doesn’t I’ll have hurt them by not doing things for them. My therapist and I are working on my need to parent everyone rn.

I get thoughts about falling out of love/if I like my boyfriend etc too. I think faking it till you make it works on one level - if what you want is to love, love is a choice. Show your partner love, even if you don't feel it in that moment. It's really difficult but I have been told it slowly works. I don't however think suppressing the feelings will help. In my experience they come back to bite me worse than before! Instead I try to accept the thoughts and not engage with them. This is something I've not been very good at, but slowly you learn the thought is not important. Equally with my other ocd I purposefully don't perform my compulsions for example door checking. This causes me anxiety and is very difficult however over time your brain learns there's nothing to be afraid about (I believe this is called ERP and worth talking to your therapist about as could be applied to your situation)

My therapist doesn’t want me to do ERP right now because she feels it won’t be helpful to me due to how I react to different triggers and obsessions. She thinks since a lot of my compulsions are researching and reading and seeking reassurance, I might spiral if I try to do that on my own.

That's fair enough, it won't be for everyone. Good luck with it all, I hope it goes well for you!