ROCD- Not today satan! We must make our decisions based on experiences not based on fear. Every day fall in love with your partner. They are perfect in their imperfection… just like you and me. ❤️ Much love y’all.

So I just had like a huge breakthrough. I often look for a feeling when I’m with him. And when I don’t I freak out mentally and it’s weird it’s hard it figure out why. But I was like doing my exposure and thought you know I choose this. I don’t need to do anything about this feeling I choose to love him on facts not feelings. So this doesn’t have to mean ANYTHING, I choose to love him despite knowing he’s not super conventionally attractive. It’s my choice , “what if I really don’t wanna be though” no it’s a choice that can’t be true if it’s a choice that means I do really want to be with him bc I’m still choosing him. If I didn’t wanna be with him I wouldn’t be with him and have no reason not t be. It’s a choice despite how you feel Evry day.

Wanna marry my partner , have no excitement feelings? Scared to lose attraction? Can’t see clear? Even though I have every right and reason to

So I’m getting there I’m almost at recovery. I have to tell myself I don’t know if my boyfriend is attractive enough for me to marry. I have no idea. Maybe he’s not. I have every right reason tk be with him I can name off reasons why I like him and love him more than physical appearance and they outweigh any bad thing or flaw. I also can do this Joe without trying to feel something. Or have a right feeling. I always felt like if I wasn’t that physically attracted it meant I should be with someone else and I don’t wanna be, so I’m taking the reigns and I’m saying yes I care about it this I wanna be with him I know k am for th right reasons I also think the spirit wants me here. God doesn’t value looks over personality. I have a history of prideful ness, and I’m going to take them captive and reflect on his heart in those moments. I’m not hopeless I have faith that God will come through for me. Even if he isn’t God will show me he is in control here even of my heart , he is in control and he will lead me .