tw// pocd , nsfw another panic! great! so i used to read miraculous ladybug fanfics when i was younger like 13 maybe and some were nsfw but i liked the plot or angst behind mari and chat blanc. so i read them. the characters in miraculous are 13-15 and i feel like i kinda forgot that bc a few months ago i remembered how much i loved those fanfics and i looked for some but i don’t think i really read any. but now i’m horrified bc i remembered that i’m 17 and those characters are in fact younger than me and idk if i was directly looking for the nsfw fics but now i find that disgusting and again i know a real pedophile would never rlly find it disgusting like ever but i find it rlly nasty when i realize that those characters are in fact younger than me like that’s so nasty ew, but i’m panicking bc regardless of whether i knew or not i still wanted to find them bc i remember i used to rlly love them but again i think i tried to read a few but nothing rlly grabbed my attention (none were nsfw i think even now i’m not a big fan of reading any nsfw like i rlly don’t like it tbh) so i just forgot about it but i’m panicking bc those characters are younger than me now and i think i forgot that whilst looking a few months ago at least i hope I did bc now i’m like so disgusted by even the idea of reading abt ppl younger than me do anything remotely nsfw that’s so nasty i just ugh idk what to do is this smth i should let go as in it’s just my ocd or is this a legitimate mistake or problem i can’t tell anymore. (also i’m aware it’s just fictional characters but that still grosses me out like tremendously)

"Pure" OCD

lucy.wilefirr

Date posted: 4y

Dude we have around the same obsession. I was obsessing over whether or not I was attracted to Lila and whether the character looked 16 or not . You’re obsessing Nagu over forgetting their age . It’s all honest mistakes ocd likes to use against you.

Xxara

Date posted: 4y

exactly like remembering their age makes me want to puke i have like zero attraction to any of them but ocd has a habit of ignoring how i acc feel for how it thinks i feel yk?

lucy.wilefirr

Date posted: 4y

@Xxara Yeah it sucks . I found just not engaging with it helps . Not doing compulsions . Much easier said than done

BigGyro09

Date posted: 4y

In the same boat as you. Constantly thinking about shit like this and it won't go away. This is stuff that started when I was about 14

Xxara

Date posted: 4y

yeah! it always just goes in a circle like my brain will either pick at things i did as a child like 11-13 on the internet or things i even did recently but disregard the fact that i find all of that nasty now like rlly rlly nasty now bc, ‘it doesn’t matter how you feel now, you still did smth,’ which is a mantra my ocd repeats to me a lot but i try to get over it

BigGyro09

Date posted: 4y

@Xxara Yeah I totally feel you on that but on the other hand things do change such as our knowledge and motives on things. I wish I could just tell us to stop beating ourselves up over things we did when we were only kids basically but that's just what ocd wants. Reassurance.

Xxara

Date posted: 4y

i’m so irritated it’s like everyday my mind keeps bringing me proof that i’m this awful person but i feel so nasty about this stuff like i genuinely have no desire to see anyone younger than me fictionally or irl doing anything nsfw like i find that nasty. so i don’t know why i went searching for those fics again like i must’ve forgotten their ages in the show

Xxara

Date posted: 4y

@Xxara actually the most nsfw thing i remember from when i was younger was making out and ik that i didn’t read anything like that now idk idk idk it’s still weird i don’t like it at all and i think i just forgot their ages but i’m still so stressed

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