Anyone else get random intrusive thoughts about their significant others or crush? Like “what if I don’t actually like them and I’m lying to cover up the fact I’m gay” or something like that?

So pretty much I’ve been dealing with intrusive thoughts my entire life, I had no idea could’ve been symptom of OCD until maybe a year ago , I have this fear right now that I don’t actually love my fiancé and I’m not attracted to men. I am attracted to men. Let me be clear. I’m not attracted to females. I never have been and I never will be. But it’s one of the scariest thoughts I’ve ever had that I don’t actually care about the person that I would sacrifice anything for that I would do anything for. He’s pretty much the closest family that I have and I just wanna be with him for the rest of my life. A couple months ago was that I just didn’t care at all, and I didn’t have any feelings and everything that I felt was me being fake in that nothing was real. But I eventually got over that and the new thought is that I’m actually gay even though I know I’m not. And in the world we live in now where it’s be yourself be you if it comes across your mind. That’s the obvious truth. Be yourself… It’s kind of scary to think about. I just want it to leave me alone. I’m actually so scared that eventually I’ll believe it because some thoughts that I’ve learned were intrusive. I ended up starting to believe and it turned into a whole catastrophe for my life. I met this girl and she felt a certain way about her husband and then she told me that eventually I’ll feel that way and ever since then I just I haven’t gotten over this fear that I’m gonna end up feeling the same way she is. Also, I recently got over a few themes. I’m not ready to share, but I’m so proud that I got over those and I just I’m waiting for this one to leave me alone and it’s not and I’m starting to get really scared that it’s true and I don’t want it to be true. and just to be very clear I don’t care who you love what you love who you like what you identify as because you can in fact be yourself but this just doesn’t feel like me. I’m genuinely reaching out to try to get help for this because now it’s messing with our personal life. We’ve never argued so much in our entire relationship and now I realize that it’s mainly my fault because I’m detaching myself from all emotion just so that I can get over this thought I’m detaching myself from all intimacy and that’s even scarier because what if it’s not me detaching myself and it’s me just not being attracted that’s another thought I’ve hadI’ve gone all long enough so thanks.

So recently I have been talking to this guy and I really like him and for the past week I felt really good and happy about it, but then a sneaky intrusive thought popped up about what if in the future when and if the time comes to sleep in the same bed, I inappropriately touch him while he’s sleeping. Now I’ve struggled with sexual intrusive thoughts like that before so my brain just kept reminding me of how that thought felt the last time it came up, and the thoughts of sexually harming this person started snowballing and making me feel worse and worse. I spent most of the day crying and panicking wishing my brain could just shut down, and now all I want to do is hide from this person so I don’t get the chance to hurt him, which makes me feel even worse because I had been feeling so good about him just the other day. I was just wondering if anyone else had experienced this and if they might have any insight

people who have so-ocd, do you feel like you’re lying to your partner secretly. i don’t know why i get these intrusive thoughts but my mind continuously keeps making scenarios where i will leave my girlfriend in the future for a man. i want to stay a lesbian forever and i don’t want to hurt my girlfriend and it makes me so upset that my brain makes these thoughts up. i really hate all these thoughts and i don’t want to be with a man, i don’t want to be attracted with one, i don’t want to like one or anything related to one.