Starting school tomorrow. Scared of seeing a wide array of girls and falling back into my compulsion of checkin whether or not I’m attracted to them… 😬 Wish me luck. Christians, please pray. I’m getting nervous.

Im starting school again the 18th of August for the first time in-person. I just want be free. I am tired of living like this. I feel scared and petrified all the time. I feel like my sins are so much and so heavy. My OCD is slowly destroying me every day. I have asked God; what is this? What do you want from me? Forgive me! Release me! Help me! I don't know how to live a normal life or even a peaceful one. Help me Jesus! I renounce everything for you! I repent! This cross is so so heavy. Help me Jesus.

Kinda spiraling. In one of my classes there was a girl that was a senior and I was a junior. We got put in a table group of 4 next to eachother for a unit with my friend also there and some girl that I knew from orchestra. I’m now scared if I was too close to her like physically. I never touched her obviously bc that’s weird. I think I was talking to my now gf at the time or maybe even dating her I’m not sure. There was this time we had to play quiziz on our Chromebooks and we got randomly selected in a group together with me her and one of my other guy friends. I’m worried that what if we were too close physically, what if my arm was touching hers or something. I know that my friend Jack was in the middle so he needed to see the screen and I also wouldn’t have went super close to her. I’m writing this bc I’m just super worried. I never talked to her outside of that class and really outside of that unit when everyone moved tables again. Whenever our teacher did demonstrations I feel like I looked at her too much and now I’m scared, even though I just look around but I feel like my eyes went to her. I would never cheat on my gf so this whole situation is bothering me. I also one time just curiously checked if she followed me on insta and we didn’t have eachother added and I saw her bf on her profile and I was like “aww that’s cute”. What if I was acting on attraction in the classroom, I’m scared

My boyfriend of 3 months is leaving for college in 2 weeks and I am terrified. He is picking up a girl on his way that is 12 hours away from where I am and they are driving together to the college. What if he realizes that I am not the right person for him? What if he falls out of love? What if he forgets what me and him have built here? It’s all about the “what ifs” and I don’t know how to stop. I have been praying for weeks now and I know the Lord will work in us to help this but what if my boyfriend is not in my future? I am terrified and have no idea how to stop the spiral.