Just did a compulsion and feeling really bad and disgusted about it. Anyone have any advice without reassuring me?

I shouldn’t have done this (trigger trigger trigger!!) So about a month ago..maybe I watched this video (as a compulsion to prove to myself) The video was called “interview with a p3d0” And basically it was what it says, I watched or more like listened to half of it…after I was disgusted by the person, but now all I can think of is every little thing I do, I feel as if tho I’m monitoring every thought/moment and feeling I have it’s torturous and I hate it..I feel disgusting, the person in the video has empathy and sympathy and had those feelings yk, I can’t explain it you’d have to watch the video yourself but please don’t it will ruin your journey…I feel more hopeless then before, my OCD is telling me so many things trying to convince me things that Ik aren’t true, I’m just really scared I don’t want to be that person I want to be a good cousin and person to my family, I’m sick of my head and myself, I’m so tired that sometimes I can’t even think straight, my head is always in pain and idek how to help myself..compulsions have been becoming more and more exhausting… I need advice or even someone to relate to, I understand I shouldn’t have done what I did but idk how to forget it.. I had made this post already but when someone replied I couldn’t see it for some reason so I’m uploading it again

Less than a year ago, I had a very big anxiety flare up to the point that I felt as though I needed to report to the police / harm myself. I ended up leaving an anonymous tip at the police hotline about something that I know I didn’t even do but everything told me I had to or else I will go to jail. And similarly after that I called the help line and explained I had unwanted intrusive thoughts and I didn’t think I deserved to live for having those thoughts. After these many months and working with my therapist, I’ve been able to feel a lot less anxious around this topic and now I’m getting lots of anxiety about what I did that time when I was so anxious. I gave in to my compulsions and confessed for stuff that I know sounds bad saying out loud but only certain people will understand I would never do. So now I’m just looking for someone to relate and perhaps let me know that I don’t have anything to worry about? I know it’s bad to seek reassurance but I’m not sure where to go. And I’m worried I’m going to keep incriminating myself.

This is a repost, only because the last post had no responses lol. Please if you have any advice share. I’ve been trying hard to sit with the feeling of anxiety. Actually that’s the problem, recently I’ve been trying to sit with the thought (and I’m able to for a few hours or until the next morning) and then my anxiety comes back so strong and it’s like I need to clean everything off. I see images of gross laundry getting on everything or my hand and then I need to clean everything off to un contaminate it. Sometimes the thought happens later at night so I just sleep through and the next morning I will wake up with intense anxiety about contamination. That happened yesterday and I had to clean everything off and since then I’ve been traumatized so I’ve been doing compulsions like avoiding the bathroom and being around people so I know I couldn’t have done anything wrong. Actually recently my biggest compulsion has been recording every time I get up to go eat, etc so that I know I couldn’t have done anything. Any advice or help???