Something I've been struggling with recently is not knowing if I left religion due to my own choice or if it was more of an OCD choice, I say this because everytime I think maybe I could return I get that OCD anxiety I know of all to well saying things like "God wont forgive you" "you've gone too far now" or "you dont fully believe in God so you're gonna go to hell, you're better off staying away". I know part of the reason for leaving was my own choice also but I cant help but think OCD had a big part to play, it's sad really because I hear so many times of people that feel free after leaving religion and I still dont feel like that, I almost feel lost or something.

OCD has decided to latch onto my religion (Christianity) and I find myself doubting my belief in Jesus Christ. Yet when I research, I even find myself doubting the atheistic and agnostic approach as well. I’ve been a Christian since I was 13, growing up in a non-Christian in truth but nominally Christian household. This is rough. Any advice?

Since I started to accept that maybe some of the problems i deal with might be things that i should accept cause either way I feel shame if i have these thoughts, and i think that being that person is shameful. I'm struggling these days and I noticed I have thoughts about God not being real, not helping me, questioning if its real and these thoughts makes me feel shame. But i keep accepting it cause Im tired that i feel like im lying to myself and everytime i feel like im avoiding the truth, so I try to accept it that its okay that im having these problems(I do the same with suicidal ocd,I start to accept maybe its real) but since im doing this I noticed it makes me depreassed cause of shame. Made things worse, I always spin about shame that it might be true, i try tk accept it but it doesnt work, I feel like maybe i should go back and label every feeling and thought as ocd but i know i wouldnt be free cause i would feel like im trying to make myself feel better... But if its ocd, how can I decide its that if I have the emotions like im losing my faith, I get angry when i hear about faith, sometimes i feel like i really question it, have thoughts like i dont want to have faith...

I used to have religious OCD. Still kinda do. Accidentally thought something bad about God once, panicked thought something bad about the Holy Spirit. Fell into doom. This was recently after recomitting myself to Christ. Since then I pretty much gave up. Unfortunately, it also led to me compromising my morals many times because I figured I was going to hell anyway. I wish I knew what OCD was then. I think it would have saved me a lot of pain. I no longer have a relationship with God, and fear I never will again.