- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Sounds a lot like me, minus the checking. I used to check using content that had much older women in it and I think it made me develop an interested in muscular women. It's amazing that you've made an effort to quit porn. That's usually the cause of these themes from what I've seen. But on the other hand, you said you yourself were checking for attraction. Stop that. Don't go back to it and don't keep repeating that compulsion. That's the worst thing you can do to yourself besides ruminating or confessing. It doesn't help you. And the last part where you want people to tell you things in order to get you to see that you aren't what you fear. That would be reassurance. Lots of compulsions you'll have to work on not doing or giving into.
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for your support, its always good to see that other people can relate to your sufferings. I will try to completely end up checking but its very hard. It doesnt give me any reasurance but somewhat I feel forced to do it.
- Date posted
- 4y
@0CDsufferer *somehow
- Date posted
- 4y
@0CDsufferer You feel forced to do what? Check? Ask for reassurance?
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 Checking, I need for certainty is too strong. But now im at the point where I dont even know what being sexually attracted mean. Its like my ocd wants me to wanna throw up in disgust each time I see a kid so then id be rlly sure am not attracted.
- Date posted
- 4y
@0CDsufferer You need to start practicing uncertainty. You do not need certainty because even if you do get it you will still be uncertain. You might as well learn to get used to it for the better. Get used to not knowing, because eventually you won't care for it. Be honest, checking doesn't so anything but make you feel worse
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 Hi man am just doubting and obsessing all over again. My question would just be how can I know I have ocd since I have not been diagnosed? Is there a particular aspect of pocd which manages to distinguish it from actual pedophilia?
- Date posted
- 4y
@0CDsufferer POCD sufferers have intrusive sexual thoughts about children but they despise them. They can't stand the thoughts they have and it makes them feel really messed up. Actual pedophiles want to have the thoughts, act on them, and genuinely get off to the thoughts, hoping they can keep thinking the thoughts. Dude, you need to stop with the checking. I saw that you said it was a problem for you because the urge got certainty is so strong. If you keep checking, one of two things could happen: Your symptoms can get worse and worse or you could check so much that you'll be training your brain to actually be attracted to thoughts or views of children. I'm sure you don't want that. Honestly I think it's best we don't even speak of the topic because that would just reinforce the OCD.
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 Im not checking anymore but now the issue is just that I get scared each time I see or hear a child and whatever Im doing im feeling like im a monster deep down and that everyone is going to know it one time. I try to leave my house as rarely as I can because each time I see a child I know it will probably gives me anxiety for the next 24 hours.
- Date posted
- 4y
@0CDsufferer Sounds like you'll have to practice sitting with the uncertainty of all of that. The less time you spend figuring that out the better. I promise.
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 Ill try my best it seems like the only solution. For example right now am writing a thesis for school and if when I wrote down something I had a though about being a pedophile Ill feel like what I have written is impregnated with bad thoughts and I will hate utterly my work so that I will have to delete it and start all over again.
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 Im so confused and anxious rlly I am feeling this ball of stress you have in your heart before exams constantly now
- Date posted
- 4y
@0CDsufferer That is pretty confusing but it gets better overtime. Believe me. Take deep breaths. Practice mindfulness and meditation. You have OCD. There are ways to get over it and you can practice these methods in order to get better. I used to have my anxiety levels be off the charts and dometimes on bad days they come back. But there are good days too.
- Date posted
- 4y
@BigGip09 What do you mean by mindfulness?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w
TW So I haven’t been diagnosed with pocd, but many ppl said that I have it. I was in bed when I remembered this time when I first started experiencing what I hope is false attraction not actual pedophilia, I’m looking back on it rn n I’m worried it wasn’t false attraction, I remember feeling a sense of attraction when I saw that kid, I was about14 at the time and the kid was 11 or 12. I remember constantly searching to see if it was normal for a 14 year old to like a 12 or 11 year old, I was worried when I was doing that i think, I also kept walking pass her to look at her i think to check if i was attracted or not, but it makes me worried that I was attracted to her because im worried that i did it bc i was actually attracted. now looking back on it rn, I don’t feel panic, worry, shame, or guilt, I originally only felt panic and worry, never shame or guilt. Now I don’t feel any of it, not feeling panic and worry now makes me think that I am a p, I don’t want to be a p. I hope im not a p, Ive talked to a therapist and they’ve said that it’s pocd, but it wasn’t a official diagnosis, I’m worried it was a false diagnosis because I lied on one or two of the questions. I also constantly get senses of what I hope is false attraction when I see some kids, I keep trying to figure out if it is real or false attraction. Can someone give me some advice please
- Date posted
- 15w
TW So I haven’t been diagnosed with pocd, but many ppl said that I have it. I was in bed when I remembered this time when I first started experiencing what I hope is false attraction not actual pedophilia, I’m looking back on it rn n I’m worried it wasn’t false attraction, I remember feeling a sense of attraction when I saw that kid, I was about14 at the time and the kid was 11 or 12. I remember constantly searching to see if it was normal for a 14 year old to like a 12 or 11 year old, I was worried when I was doing that i think, I also kept walking pass her to look at her i think to check if i was attracted or not, but it makes me worried that I was attracted to her because im worried that i did it bc i was actually attracted. now looking back on it rn, I don’t feel panic, worry, shame, or guilt, I originally only felt panic and worry, never shame or guilt. Now I don’t feel any of it, not feeling panic and worry now makes me think that I am a p, I don’t want to be a p. I hope im not a p, Ive talked to a therapist and they’ve said that it’s pocd, but it wasn’t a official diagnosis, I’m worried it was a false diagnosis because I lied on one or two of the questions. I also constantly get senses of what I hope is false attraction when I see some kids, and I keep trying to figure out if it is real or false attraction. Also some other time today I was feeling aroused and I wanted to m#sturbate, but then thoughts of kids started popping up, I think that I didn’t like them, I’m not sure any more, but while I was finishing the thoughts kept comigg by, idk what it means but it felt like I enjoyed it, which made me worried, but after I finished the thoughts disappeared a lot more, idk why that happened idk what it means, could someone give me some advice pls?? I don’t wanna be a pedo. All of that happening makes me feel like I am one, can someone give me advice on what’s happening and what I am??
- Date posted
- 14w
So I just read a Reddit post about how this guy found out that he was a pedo because of how he started feeling that he was still attracted to middle schoolers as a 14 year old in high school and it never changed even when he got into adulthood. I’m currently under the age of 16 and I’m worried of my attraction feelings I felt towards some kids I’ve seen on social media and real life, I’m not sure if they are false or not. I have gotten a diagnosis, I remember lying on 2 questions, saying I didn’t feel aroused and that i don’t enjoy the thoughts n feelings. I’m not sure if i enjoy the thoughts and feelings, and now im worried i about it, i dont feel worry dread panic or shame and disgust when I get those thoughts and feelings anymore. I also remember that when i was 14 I felt attracted to a 12 or 11 year old, i kept going back to look at her idk why, but i think that i was worried because I didn’t want to be attracted to younger aged ppl. Im worried that all of these feelings of attraction aren’t false and that they are a reflection of who i am. I do not wish to be a pedo, nor do I wish to like kids. I know that I won’t hurt kids, but I’m scared that I am a pedo because of the feelings I get. I don’t understand myself anymore, I hope it’s pocd not actual pedophilia, I don’t trust that diagnosis I got because of those 2 questions I lied on, I said that i don’t like those thoughts n feelings even though I don’t know if I really do or not, can someone please help me? Idk what I have anymore, I don’t want it to be pedophilia
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