Why is it that when I'm watching tiktoks around my family, I get embarrassed when the "she's at that special age when a girl has only one thing in her mind. Boys? Homicide" sound gets on my FYP to the point I skip those tiktoks before the word "boys" come but I don't feel that when the "But you don't look gay" sound comes?

I keep seeing tiktoks of things that are like ‘things I did as a lesbian in denial’ or ‘things my not so straight straight friend said’ and I feel like I might relate to some!! But idk!! It’s kinda triggering me. I’ve had this 5 years on and off now so when it comes back the whole well you’ve had it so long you must be gay comes up. I have been with my boyfriend almost 6 years and i love him so much I don’t want to be gay (nothing weong with it - I’m just not and don’t want to be!)

I was on YouTube looking for saw traps I scenes and I see a saw 5 playlist and I was a bit horny because I was thinking of the guy I’m talking to and it’s like what if the playlist had inappropriate stuff on kids and I got arosal and then I got worried and went to see if there was stuff on kids there The gronial response gets intense I felt arousal because of the idea I might find content of kids there I think I’m a p how is this ocd I get worried when I open playlists or images because I’m going to think there’s inappropriate stuff and I don’t want to accidentally see it and I feel guilty afterwards I feel like I also touched my brother inappropriately I asked if I ever did anything he said no but what if he thinks it’s not wrong or he’s not telling me the truth

I’m 19 my brother who is 16 showed me a video of one of his friends girlfriend and told me “isn’t she hot?” I feel like I did find her attractive and then I asked what her age was and he said 14. Why did I find her attractive if she’s that much younger than me? I’m also having trouble seeing girls in public I think are attractive but don’t know their age. They could be young and I still might find them attractive. Sometimes I force myself to look at these girls more than usual to really determine what their age is and if I find them attractive. I don’t stare intensely but it definitely feels strange doing it. Is this a problem that I can’t figure out if girls I find attractive are around my age? Or even if I know they are younger than me sometimes I might find them attractive? Why would I find them attractive if they’re too young for me?