I keep having this one stupid thought that if I was gay or if I was a guy I’d date this friend of mine and it’s so scary. I never ever thought of her like that before this theme, I just admired her for being such a nice person which is rare with girls at school. I just think that if I had to choose it wouldn’t be terrible since I look up to this friend so much, but I still don’t want to be with her romantically or sexually is the thing but that feels like a lie. It’s more like if I just had to absolutely choose but idk. Stupid brain.