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- 4y
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- 4y
I’ve had similar experiences
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- 4y
Really ? :(
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- 4y
What if that wasn’t an ocd thought? Bc I remember how the thought went, I feel like such a pedo :( but then it doesn’t make sense how the intrusive thoughts really hit me later on and I had no idea what was going on
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- 4y
I’m so terrified like I feel bad for having that thought but at the same time idek if that was ocd or not or true? When I didn’t mean the thought in an inappropriate way
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- 4y
Now I feel like my abuser bc when he said stuff about my body he said it wasn’t in that way but idk if it’s the same for me bc in his case I knew he was lying and that he did but for me it was more like a compliment type thing? And I didn’t mean for it to be like that and I didn’t feel any type of arousal or pleasure or anything
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- 4y
Now I feel like I can’t live with myself for having thatt thought :( when it was a few months ago before my ocd came in.. and remembering that makes me feel like I am a pedo and in denial :( I feel so bad I feel like them like him
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- 4y
Comment deleted by user
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But I feel like a pedo for it :(
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- 4y
And I feel guilty for it
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- 4y
@BlueMountain But it’s making me feel bad for having that one thought and it’s killing me 😭 like it feels like it’s proof that I am a p
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- 4y
@BlueMountain I’ll try 🥲
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- 4y
@BlueMountain I’m crying bro 🥲 like I’m really trying but I keep thinking new stuff and more shit keeps popping up liek all the possibilities and it feels true and it feels like I like it :( like I’m becoming more and more like a pedo and it’s inevitable at this point I don’t know how to continue what if it’s not ocd at all or what if I do but there are ppl who did and acted on those thoughts .. I’m sorry for bothering and being difficult but it’s just how I feel..
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- 4y
@BlueMountain But I’m worried tho bc now that I remember 😭 I’m pretty sure it was intentional 😭 and I’m feeling like this is all proof that even before my ocd really kicked in it must mean I’m a pedo 😭and that this whole thing must be fake or that I’m fake :( like what this is the real me which is a bad person ? What if my trauma revealed who I truly am 🙁
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- 4y
It is possible if I reach you 😭😭
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
I just had intense sexual thoughts of this 6 yo, I got intense groinal response and I felt like I genuinely liked the thoughts, like I had 0 distress from the thoughts and I felt intense groinal response, I felt like I wanted the thoughts, now I feel like a litteral pedo, I don’t wanna be a pedo, idk why I felt that way towards the thoughts, but it felt genuine, like attraction and enjoyment, I’ve not been diagnosed with pocd and I just started therapy, can someone please help me? Idk why this happened or if it even is pocd, I don’t wish to be a pedo but I feel like one rn.
- Date posted
- 22w
I was just out a few minutes ago and I saw this 9 year old kid, I felt what I hope is false attraction, idk if it was or not, I don’t understand what I felt, but I felt a need to look away but also a need to look to check if I was attracted or not, when I looked it genuinely felt like I was attracted, idk what’s happening but I don’t wanna be attracted to a kid, I’m convinced I’m a pedo bc of the amount of times something like this happened, I don’t know what this means, but I’m worried it’s not pocd, I’ve never gotten a diagnosis, but many ppl online said I did and I should see a therapist, i don’t know if I liked the feeling or not, but it made me have a feeling in my chest, similar to attraction, I’ve been trying to pursue a relationship with a girl my age, but this just feels so real, I don’t know if it was false attraction or not, It felt so genuine, now that I left, the feeling kind of dissapeared, but it felt like I was genuinely attracted to that, I can’t be attracted to that, I don’t want to be attracted to that, I think I’m just a pedo in denial, I feel like I’m writing all of this to try to convince myself I’m not a pedo even though I am, this feeling only happens sometimes when I see a female kid, Idk if it means something or not, but I don’t think it’s pocd, it feels too real for me, it feels like I’m actually liking kids, I really hope it’s false attraction. I don’t wanna be a pedo, I wanna be able to have a relationship with a girl my age. I don’t understand what’s happening, please help me. I can’t tell if this is pedophilia or ocd anymore. Edit: main thing is the feelings not the thoughts because it feels like genuine attraction, I also get urges to not look but to look at the same time, for me it’s mainly the feelings, they feel so real when I think abt it now I’m still getting those feelings, I’m so convinced that I’m actually attracted. It felt like real enjoyment, so I’m worried that I am a pedo bc of those feelings, I feel like I’m not able to pursue a relationship with someone my age. But this can’t have been ocd it feels to genuine, it felt like actual enjoyment.
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- 21w
TW So I haven’t been diagnosed with pocd, but many ppl said that I have it. I was in bed when I remembered this time when I first started experiencing what I hope is false attraction not actual pedophilia, I’m looking back on it rn n I’m worried it wasn’t false attraction, I remember feeling a sense of attraction when I saw that kid, I was about14 at the time and the kid was 11 or 12. I remember constantly searching to see if it was normal for a 14 year old to like a 12 or 11 year old, I was worried when I was doing that i think, I also kept walking pass her to look at her i think to check if i was attracted or not, but it makes me worried that I was attracted to her because im worried that i did it bc i was actually attracted. now looking back on it rn, I don’t feel panic, worry, shame, or guilt, I originally only felt panic and worry, never shame or guilt. Now I don’t feel any of it, not feeling panic and worry now makes me think that I am a p, I don’t want to be a p. I hope im not a p, Ive talked to a therapist and they’ve said that it’s pocd, but it wasn’t a official diagnosis, I’m worried it was a false diagnosis because I lied on one or two of the questions. I also constantly get senses of what I hope is false attraction when I see some kids, and I keep trying to figure out if it is real or false attraction. Also some other time today I was feeling aroused and I wanted to m#sturbate, but then thoughts of kids started popping up, I think that I didn’t like them, I’m not sure any more, but while I was finishing the thoughts kept comigg by, idk what it means but it felt like I enjoyed it, which made me worried, but after I finished the thoughts disappeared a lot more, idk why that happened idk what it means, could someone give me some advice pls?? I don’t wanna be a pedo. All of that happening makes me feel like I am one, can someone give me advice on what’s happening and what I am??
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