Hey everyone, I really need your opinion on what to do in this situation. So my ex and I broke up in January. It was a highly dependent relationship but I believe that I was super in love with him. He ended up getting another girlfriend pretty soon after (ouch) but they broke up like last week. He blocked me initially on facebook, unblocked me, tried to add me. Since they broke up, hes texted me a few times, and now he has added me on snapchat...through search lol. I kind of want to accept the request and tell him to please leave me alone, and ask what he wants. But I'm not sure if I should. Next thing I know he'll probably send me $5 on venmo for my favorite starbucks drink 🤣🤷‍♀️

my name is isma, i am 19 in nyc. i met this amazing guy at the beginning of the year, we hit it off immediately and he really stood out to me. i recently broke up with him because i feel like if id put him thru a lot if he’d stay with me. i recently came out to my parents and it wasn’t voluntary. i was caught with him and then had to reveal that i was gay. my parents didn’t take it too well. i felt uncomfortable and a little scared to be at home for some days. that settled in a week and both my parents told me they were acceptant but in the end it just felt to me like if they accepted me but they just didn’t wanna know about it anymore in a sense of just avoiding touching on the topic. now me and my boyfriend, i was going thru a lot and he gave me all his attention and was there for me whenever i had to vent or just cry because of everything going on. it’s crazy to think that at 19 years old id be coming out to my parents when at the start of the year, i never thought that’d be something id end up doing. ive never been open about my emotions or a “soft” person because i was never able to be myself at home and with my parents. sometimes i can’t even hug anyone. i find it hard to speak to strangers that r not my friends. i’m very picky when it comes to making friends. i feel like my thoughts are all over the place and im very indecisive. i miss my boyfriend and i wanna go back with him but im scared that ill ruin things again. before him, i was stuck in hookup culture and thought that by hooking up w a guy i was interested in, he’d wanna stay with me and get to know me. i was used many times and ive also used people many times. i’ve been done dirty and ive done people dirty, i dont think of myself as a good person but i felt loved and deeply cared for by this guy. he lives in nj and i live in ny. sometimes he’d even surprise me at work and i cried the first time he did. i felt so special and in awe because i would’ve never thought i could get so emotional over a small gesture. to me it wasn’t a small gesture. it was everything because he came from all the way in nj to ny just to see me for a couple of minutes. i hate the way that i am. i am unconfident, i think i am so ugly, sometimes i question how he found me attractive to date. i overthink everything, i cried one time imagining him coming to see me in ny then having to go home so late back to nj, i dont think im worth it and i felt like i didn’t deserve that and maybe it’d be better if he found someone near him. i also compared myself a lot with him. he’s such a kind spirited person, he’s always smiling and i on the other hand get told i look sad or anxious. i am i pretty negative person and that just adds on to me being an overthinker. i always thought someone as happy as him deserves another happy person and not someone who gets mad or agitated easily. i wish i can be more for him, i do miss him a lot and i plan on talking with him again. i just wanna talk everything out, even if we don’t date for sometime, i wanna be around him and know we’re gonna get back there again someday. he’s the best person that’s came to my life, i know ppl may say to let it go and see it as a learning experience but i don’t wanna move on if it’s not me moving on by his side. i really do wanna be with him i just wanna get my head clear. i don’t know what to do, im stuck

So yesterday I was spinning out because I watched a video about relationships that made one of my old obsessions return. For some context, this is about my ex, we broke up about 2 months ago, but went back to being friends a week later. Talked for a little bit but then stopped, and about 3 weeks ago he reached out again to say hi, I haven’t responded to him. What led to the breakup? I told him how I liked the attention I got from some creepy guy (I didn’t flirt with him, I told him to back off and everything, my problem was that I liked the attention and that I didn’t leave right away and stood around longer than I should have). And he figured it was because he’s been busy with work and school and thought his lack of attention to me was behind it. But I think (and I never told him this) it’s because I just liked the feeling of being wanted ( I hate saying that). that creepy guy is an emotional support volunteer from 7 cups. I came there because the night before, I had an argument with my ex that left me feeling pretty upset and unheard and I really wanted someone to talk to, but didn’t know who to go to. I was hoping I’d be set up with someone I would trust to be professional and compassionate, as you can see that didn’t happen. That guy started asking me weird questions, I don’t exactly remember what he asked but he said something really weird, I think he asked if I was in Highschool or something?? I forgot. I do know he was trying to hit on me after I made it CLEAR I was in a relationship. I told the guy to back off but he just didn’t stop. In the moment I realized I was kinda liking the fact that he wanted me??? Idk what the heck that was but I DID NOT like that, and tried to shove it aside and continue the conversation. That was wrong because in turn that just fueled that gross feeling, even though I tried desperately to erase it and forget it wasnt there. On top of that I was bewildered and almost amused by how absolutely absurd all of this was, I mean why would someone hit on someone who’s in a RELATIONSHIP whilst they’re in such a vulnerable moment?? It was so manipulative and disgusting. I tried to magnify those two feelings (the bewilderment and the amusement) because I was feeling a lot of disgust and shame for the other feeling (liking the feeling of being wanted). All of that had me stick around longer than I should have and it feels so gross and wrong.. The conversation lasted very briefly because eventually the guy left after I told him I wasn’t willing to cheat on my ex with him. when I came to my ex about liking the attention from that guy and how the interaction went down, I knew my exs lack of attention wasnt the reason behind why I liked it and why I stayed longer than I should have. And when my ex told me it was the reason why, I didn’t speak up and explain that wasnt true. I should have done it in the moment but I was scared (not an excuse) to tell him because I didn’t want him to get mad at me or yell at me (also not an excuse). And now I’m once again thinking I should confess all this to him so that he doesn’t feel like it’s his fault… idk if I should or shouldn’t idk if he even blames himself for the breakup or if he beats himself over it, or if he’s done with it and he’s grieved it and moved on. Idk if it’s necessary now.. but I’m spinning out over it because I can’t seem to let go of this.

Hey, so I'll try to keep it short but I've been dealing with a lot of emotions and need advise. This is not fully ocd but I really don't have anywhere else to talk about this with. I’ve only ever seriously liked two people: my ex and this guy I’ve been talking to. He’s from a country far away, and we’d been chatting for two months before I admitted my feelings. From the start, he was clear he’s not over his ex and isn’t looking for anything serious. At first, I saw him just as a friend, but the more he mentioned going on dates or seeking a friends-with-benefits situation, the more it stirred panic and fear in me. When he noticed I was acting off and asked about it, I opened up and told him how I felt. He was kind but firm, saying he couldn’t reciprocate but wanted to stay friends. That was nice of him, but it still hurt, especially since he didn’t seem to see it as a big deal, while for me, it was huge. I took a two-week break to process, crying it out and trying to pull myself together before reaching out again. He was understanding and seemed okay with picking up where we left off, but things aren’t the same. We used to talk all day, every day, but now it’s just a few words here and there, and it’s crushing. He seems totally fine—happy, going out, living his life like nothing’s changed. Meanwhile, I’m at my lowest, depressed and unable to enjoy anything. Seeing him share updates or talk about his life just makes me sad, and I can’t even show the support I used to. It’s killing me because I want to be his friend, but this feels so distant and cold compared to before. Texting him back is so hard now, which has never been an issue with anyone else. I don’t want to take another break because I’d just spend it thinking about him, and trying to go back to being friends afterward feels even scarier. I don’t want to lose him entirely, but this is hurting so much. I just want to be his friend, but I’ve never liked someone this much before. When I care about someone, they become my whole world, and right now, mine feels like it’s crashed. Seeing him happy makes me sad, and I feel awful for feeling that way. My ocd is making me spiral about this and keep obsessing about him and this connection making me feel restless. Most friends told me to try and let go and end this because I'm hurting but I don't wanna regret giving up on a friendship tho of I don't want a shallow one word per day friendship either.