danielle0603
- Date posted
- 4y
Maybe,MaybeNotMaybe,MaybeNot
- Date posted
- 4y
This is the main type of obsessions I struggle with. I tell my fiancé things I said 2 years ago because I’m afraid he would leave me if he knew. I already told him a lot and it’s gotten to the point where he is like ok you need to stop. He basically said we don’t need to know everything eachother has said, sometimes you say things for validation or attention, but that’s why we have different minds- we don’t need to know everything each other has said
HeelloHeello
- Date posted
- 4y
Real event Works like that, First you confess, but then its not enough so you think about giving more details, then you think was not enough again and so it goes on and on and on... Try not to give into it, because you can even "create" details that you cant remember for sure
danielle0603danielle0603
- Date posted
- 4y
❤️
rosemary<3rosemary<3
- Date posted
- 4y
I know how you feel, I was like that all time, but it helps having a supportive partner
rosemary<3rosemary<3
- Date posted
- 4y
But that’s a compulsion, your ocd makes you feel like you need tell them everything, and if you end up doing it, it gives you temporary relief until there comes another conversation and you feel you need to tell them everything again
rosemary<3rosemary<3
- Date posted
- 4y
Let’s say you broke your leg when you were little and you were telling someone, you wouldn’t address every little thing that happened, nor feel like you have to, so why do that now?
danielle0603danielle0603
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much for replying, I know reassurance is temporary but when you feel like this it helps.
rosemary<3rosemary<3
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous1993 I used to have this problem a lot, I’d tell my boyfriend about all the people I’d been with and what we did because I felt guilty as if he should know and it would be out of nowhere, he’d always tell me I didn’t have to do that and it was true, I just remind myself there’s no reason to spill out what I’m urging to say
danielle0603danielle0603
- Date posted
- 4y
@rosemary<3 I’m glad you understand, I really do appreciate you. I feel like this is a bit different though, where it’s about something that I personally feel is borderline cheating. I feel awful about it. I didn’t kiss him, but I lead him on because it was good for my self esteem. I said things (not about my partner, although I was talking about him and the wedding all night!) that I should have said and I keep getting the urge to disclose what I said to my partner. It’s terrifying, I am sure most people would brush this off as being drunk and just words but I feel horrendous.
rosemary<3rosemary<3
- Date posted
- 4y
YOURE NOT ALONE! I used to deal with this all the time, my best advice when these thoughts come is to trust intuition, there’s intuition and intrusive, intuition doesn’t cause anxiety and distress because it’s an I know feeling, intrusive is when you feel distressed and anxious, that’s shows it’s not important and to stop this habit you need to stop the compulsions
HeelloHeello
- Date posted
- 4y
How can I see the diference between them? I know I need to talk about it with my therapist, but I feel like I gonna use it as a compulsion, like instead of explaining my real event, that I will try to confess everything and even with details hoping for pity, mercy, reassurance or even condenmation :(
Maybe,MaybeNotMaybe,MaybeNot
- Date posted
- 4y
@Heello Don’t confess. It is a vicious cycle. Once I start I can’t stop. You need to accept whatever your fear is. My fear is usually “if he knew every single word I said or the tone of my voice he would leave me.” It doesn’t matter what he would think. You are allowed to be yourself and say what you want to say in the moment. You don’t have to constantly censor everything you’re about to say just to please someone.
danielle0603danielle0603
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous You took the words out of my mouth with the “tone” and “exact words”…I think we’ve had a VERY similar experience x
Maybe,MaybeNotMaybe,MaybeNot
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous1993 I know- this is one of the first times I realllllyyy saw a post that was very similar to what I go through. So I’m glad we were able to connect. But honestly friend we all can be flirty at times and it sounds like you had no intention of cheating and so saying something to get a little attention isn’t so horrible in my opinion. Sometimes we just say things and see it from a different perspective later on.
danielle0603danielle0603
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous Thank you, this app is priceless!!
Maybe,MaybeNotMaybe,MaybeNot
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous1993 Best wishes to you friend! Hang in there! Remember you are a human being and to give yourself some compassion.
danielle0603danielle0603
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you, truly. It’s just hard because part of me did want to kiss this guy and I feel terrible for that. I distinctly remember turning my head away from him when he tried to kiss me, but now I’m doubting myself with “what if you did and just forgot”, “what if he did touch your leg”. I was soooo drunk, and would never do that sober but I know that’s not an excuse. Ughhh
Maybe,MaybeNotMaybe,MaybeNot
- Date posted
- 4y
You are welcome. I’ve had those thoughts too. Of course part of you probably wanted to kiss him- he was probably cute! So what? We are allowed to want to kiss other people. It doesn’t mean we aren’t loyal. And I’ve had the false memory thing before too. The more you question it, the less you are going to be able to remember. My guess is that neither of those things happpebed- but of course there is always the what if. Okay- maybe there is some 1% chance you kissed him and don’t remember. Oh well. You were drunk. Sometimes we do stupid stuff when we are drunk. It doesn’t mean you are a horrible piece of shit and don’t deserve your fiancé. There is no way to 100% know for sure so you will never know.
danielle0603danielle0603
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous This is so helpful to hear, I’m so grateful someone really understands how I’m feeling. It makes sense, I’m sending you the biggest virtual hug right now!
Maybe,MaybeNotMaybe,MaybeNot
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous1993 I’m here for you!!!! 😊
Char222Char222
- Date posted
- 2y
@Maybe,MaybeNot Hey are you able to talk about this, I really had like almost the same situation and I’m struggling so hard
AngellouiseAngellouise
- Date posted
- 3y
Do people think this is cheating? Because I’ve done exactly the same thing and I’m worried I have cheated by doing this but I’m really not sure
Related posts
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 22w
Relationship OCD- fear of cheating
I have this deep fear I’ll accidentally cheat on my long term partner. This fear was initially triggered a couple years ago after being at a bar with my friends where I enjoyed the attention of being flirted with by a stranger. Because of my enjoyment of receiving verbal attention, I began spiraling about what if I accidentally cheat. Since then I have made multiple confessions to my partner to seek reassurance, replayed events over and over in my head, spent hours googling/looking at reddit threads, and now I dread “bar like” situations where I know my partner won’t be around. Today I was triggered and have wasted about 4-5 hours of my day ruminating. Does anyone else with relationship ocd struggle with this fear and have any tips?
str4berrycoo...
- Date posted
- 18w
stupid things i did when i was an older teenager
since one of my biggest fears/events of my reocd happened (not the way i thought it would happen!) i've been healing and understanding a lot of things (like the fact i was the one being abused in my old relationship) but thanks to that my ocd has been trying to launch on a new event and i don't know. i was in a cut and off relationship with my ex three years ago, this happened when i was an older teenager and really confused. during the time i cut off momentary with him i started to get compliments and cute messages in an anonymous confession page and used to post them replying in a playful way or just with genuine curiousity. the thing is, i got with my ex once again in secret for the last time but honestly i'm realizing lately that i didn't love him anymore and being with him made me feel terrible but i wasn't strong enough to leave him once for all. i didn't tell any of my friends about this because they hated him (for a good reason) and i was also disappointed on myself for this. he pushed me a lot make it public and i would say to him a lot of times that i wasn't sure. the thing is, that i still got that type of messages on that anonymous confession page and still publish them on my profile while being with my ex in secret, but eventually i stopped doing that. then i finally left my ex (was horrible). but since what happened to me, i cant stop thinking if that was cheating – it was cheating? i'm not sure anymore and i feel like im going to have a relapse.
marryyyy
- Date posted
- 16w
moral , event , cheating OCD i need help please !!
I’m currently in a very emotionally stressful situation with my partner. We had a huge argument because I did something I had promised not to do again: I looked at my ex-partner’s profile. To me, it didn’t have any real emotional meaning. It was impulsive, meaningless, almost automatic. But my partner was deeply hurt – and I understand why. I told him about it. We talked. It was hard. But after that, things got even worse for me. I suddenly remembered that it didn’t just happen once. And since then, I’ve been stuck in this thought loop and I don’t know if it’s OCD or not So, should I tell him that it was more than once?”– if I should tell him, even if it might mean he’ll leave me. Should I confess this? I urgently need advice. I don’t know if this is OCD or not – the thought suddenly came to me in that situation. I have been formally diagnosed with OCD. But if I know that my partner would see this as very serious and might possibly leave me over it – shouldn’t I still tell him? I feel so awful and I’m having panic attacks. Is this OCD?
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