i feel like every couple of days it’s a new obsession to worry about. it’ll be thoughts about how i feel like my boyfriend is holding me back from life (not true, i saw it in a movie and i thought oh no is that us?) and that i need to leave, or that he doesn’t love me enough so i need to leave (not true, i’ll compare us to other couples and forget all the good things he does), or that he does too much for me but i don’t love him enough in return (i do love him ): ), or that he’s going to leave me for being too mentally ill (even though he’s always supportive of me and always helps me feel better), or my brain will find evidence and pick his personality flaws try to prove he’s a bad person (he’s really not a bad person). it’s like every time i try to prove to myself that the thoughts aren’t true my brain tries to come up with more theories to leave him. this makes it feel so real. but he hasn’t changed negatively in the 2 years we’ve been dating. he’s only grown. why does this happen and feel so real then?? why does my brain make theories? i want to be with him. he’s who i see myself having a future with. why do i feel so disconnected :(

Relationship OCD

[Deleted]

Date posted: 4y

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itwillbeokay💛

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

thank you 💛

cozymushroom

Date posted: 4y

I feel you honey! We will get through it

k-low

Date posted: 4y

Ohh I feel like I could have written that post! I've had exactly the same thoughts. And it hurts sosos much. One day I obsesses if I don't love him enough. Then the next day I'm scared our sex life isn't good enough and we will break up because I will be unhappy. The next day (today), I felt like he didn't love me and I felt so incredibly disconnected. I struggled to look him in the eyes or kiss him because it triggered me soo much. Then I ended up crying in his arms until I felt better. Now I feel absolutely fine again like nothing ever happened. OCD is so weird. And I know it feels real. I mean why would you feel these things if they weren't right? That's what ocd makes you think. But just because you can imagine something or think of it doesn't make it true. ❤️

k-low

Date posted: 4y

And make sure to do erp's. Being in the forum and looking for reassurance will make you feel better for sure. But on the long run you want to combat your fears. Allow anxiety to be there, and accept that you might never know some things for sure, but that doesn't mean that's a bad thing!

itwillbeokay💛

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4y

@Anonymous thank you so much for your words, this was really helpful. stay well ❤️

k-low

Date posted: 4y

@ anonymous I'm happy to help! And it's kinda comforting to know I'm not alone with those thoughts 😊

Raee

Date posted: 4y

that’s why you can’t try and telly ourself they aren’t true, since you know how you feel what you have to do is say “maybe” when those things come up. or purposely lean into it. it helps it’s the basis of ERP

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