My family doctor just said he thinks I have gender dysphoria and should look into gender specific therapy and services 🙃

I finally found the courage to seek a psychiatrist last week, when I got there I was nervous for obvious reasons and felt a bit guilty. I met the doctor and don’t get me wrong he was very nice and knowledgeable in the bigger scope of mental health. Asked me questions of depression, anxiety, if I see things others don’t etc.. However, while we went through the assessment I did not receive a formal “diagnosis” and seemed as though he came to the determination what I have is general anxiety disorder. I don’t disagree, I know I have anxiety! However, when it came to the point where we were wrapping it up I had a “BUT WAIT” moment. I explained I was a part of an OCD community where I had previously been doing therapy to manage OCD. He asked “well why OCD?” I replied, “I have constant thoughts very repetitive thoughts that follow a theme and they are extremely persistent.” It was then I knew I couldn’t let down the walls and go into depth, as I knew he wouldn’t understand. To validate what I already knew, I said “I have constant fears and worries about my children, myself, and religion. I think about these things all day long. In order to free myself from the feeling I have to say a specific phrase or word in my head.” He said “well yea that’s normal to have worries and fears about your family, your religion” and so forth. The feeling of disappointment is an under statement, this is more than just “anxiety” this is something that I struggle with daily and to have a professional discredit my daily fight was off putting. Not his fault, it demonstrates the lack of knowledge for OCD and treatment many of us have to face. Sorry for the rant, sometimes we just have to advocate for ourselves.. 🌸

Sometimes this app is triggering…😅 Someone said that if erp didn’t work, i should try gender affirming…its so scary! Even if im not diagnosed officially but still,what do you think?(I don’t want gender affirming 😔)

Hi all it’s been a bit since I’ve posted. I’ve been doing ok ish Today has been weird, idk if it’s cuz I upped my vyvanse to 20mg and it’s making me anxious or if everything is just colliding rn It feels like idk myself anymore. I’ve been flipping between ROCD, soocd and tocd the last couple of days/weeks. Rn I just feel horrible and idk why but I’ve been on my period for 11 days now. My period usually lasts 7. When I’m not on birth control. I’ve been on birth control since October of last year and hadn’t had a period till coming home end of April/early may and now it’s back again. I’ve been ranting to chat gpt (Ik it’s bad, I just didn’t know who to turn to) Rn I’m just really in my head about my gender and I’m anxious and crying and I just don’t feel good. Context for tonight’s thought I was doing my skincare, I’ve been trying to develop a routine cuz I’m bothered by the texture on my face and how it makes my makeup look. I’ve always felt less pretty than other girls tbh. Anywyas. As I was doing my skincare I had this thought just happen across my mind of “what if I dislike my skin and face so much cuz I’m trans? What if the reason I’ve been depressed lately is cuz I’m slowly becoming dysphoric and hating myself?” When in fact I think the issue is: I haven’t seen my bf in a month and a bjt. I’ve been bleeding for 11 days. I’m in summer classes and stressed about the comjng semester and how much work I have to do to catch up cuz I’m in pre med and I’ve been fucking slacking lately and I truly hate myself for it. I miss being hugged by my bf. I’ll admit I need a good dicking down tbh. My brother is a whole other story while I’m home. I just feel. Gross and bad. And I’m worried I’m trans. I’m worried I’m a lesbian or smthn. I’m worried I don’t love my bf deeply enough and it’s all just circling in my head a lot and I just feel like curling into a ball. I’ve always been a tomboy, I mostly hung out with boys cuz the girls never liked me. I was weird. I loved dragons. I had imaginary friends. At one point as a kid I tried a different name, I think it just didn’t fit and I grew out of that and just went back to my normal name. But now I’m worried I just repressed that. But I see a lot of girls who also went through the same thing and are also just women. But I’m so scared that I’m “not letting the TV glow” like that trend (that shit made me so anxious. I have trans friends and I love them but im scared of it for myself) I feel still sorta tomboyish but dress feminine, once in a blue moon ill dress semi masculine and now I’m worried that means im either trans or a lesbian who wants to be masc. but I’m not. I don’t think I am Idk who I am anymore. Idk if it’s just ocd or if im actually discovering smthn Im just anxious as hell tbh. So I don’t think that’s the case. I’m just sitting here. Looping in my head. My typical “drown out the noise” tv shows won’t load properly cuz of our new wifi and it’s really irritating me. What if I’ve been lying every time I try to do a “are you trans/genderfluid/non binary?” quiz. What if I’ve been lying to my bf. My friends? My family? I keep thinking to myself, if I wasn’t with my bf would I dress the same? Yes I would. I’d still wear my cardigans. My sweaters. My dresses. I’d try out new styles like I want to rn with him. I’m just worried that teying smthn would make me realize smthn about myself but I don’t think it would. Idk. I’m just in all these irrational thoughts. Jumping to conclusions Any advice would be appreciated. I mostly just needed to vent about this.