- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
This doesn’t mean you’re a pedophile. You’re questioning whether you are or not. Pedophiles don’t question if they are a pedophile or not. You are feeling guilt/disgust over the thought. Pedophiles don’t feel disgust/guilt over the thought. The thoughts are not the problem. It’s your reaction to the thoughts after the initial disgust/guilt. Recognize that you had a thought. It gave you this feeling of disgust/guilt because it’s not part of your character. Then you have to let it go. If you ruminate over it question it over and over you are going to end up in the rabbit-hole. Every time you catch yourself ruminating, identify that this is OCD because it is associated with the feeling of DOUBT. When I have intrusive thoughts about harm, pedophilia, or false memories, I recognize the emotion and also the overall feeling of doubt as OCD not as a REAL question. It’s not real. It’s OCD because if it was real there would be NO anxiety, disgust or doubt. Once you identify it as OCD, then tell yourself, this isn’t a real problem, this isn’t important it’s “spam” and refocus. Think about something else. Find something interesting to think about. Give your brain something else to do. THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE MOST DIFFICULT STEP. I know it’s hard. I know it seems impossible. But keep trying. Over and over and over. Identify your compulsions and eliminate them. Mine are ruminating, reassurance seeking and avoiding. I have 4 kids now so I can’t avoid. I’ve stopped asking for reassurance 95% of the time and I’ve noticed the intrusive thoughts going way down. I am still working on the ruminating which is more difficult to handle because it’s all internal, but I’m doing better. I know deep in my heart that these thoughts are telling me what I don’t want to happen. How much I value my family and care about children and people in general. That’s why it breaks my heart and that’s why it breaks yours. Hang in there. Take it one step at a time and work on stopping your compulsions. Eventually your mind will get the message that these thoughts are not important and are total bullshit.
- Date posted
- 6y
I would say that it wasn’t necessarily an intrusive thought at the time, just you spacing out and being a normal human noticing the world around you. BUT the ruminating and revisiting months later is definitely an intrusive thought. With an uptick in OCD symptoms it makes total sense that you would start mining your own life for signs of this threatening possibility. With OCD we’re all shitty detectives led by an inexplicable feeling of guilt.
- Date posted
- 6y
I think OCD wants to put our biggest fears in our face. At least it you know what you’re biggest fear is so you can start to recognize it when your intrusive thoughts pop up. I think that not letting it trick you is half the battle. I wish you the very best that recovery has to offer❤️
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you guys so much ❤️
- Date posted
- 6y
Like how you stage that Fivel!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 20w
How do you know the difference :( I genuinely cannot keep living in this torment. it all started with an ‘intrusive thought’ where I had like a hazy flash of something reading an article. and I remember thinking ‘what if’ and ‘what is this’ and then that intrusive thought turned into me ‘remembering’ something else. which caused me panic. then I started trying to find evidence because it contradicted what I remembered this entire time. this was last year in like september. fast forward to march this year, it came back up- but this time stronger and with more ‘details’ and what nots. and I’ve been ruminating on it since then trying to remember and connect and It’s like I’ve added all of these details. but are they real? or is this just my OCD? I just feel like if it were real I would have never been able to keep it to myself. but also what if it was so traumatic that I blocked it out? because it all makes NO sense for me to do something like that. but it also fits what I was thinking at the time. idk
- Date posted
- 20w
I’m reaching out for educational and self-awareness purposes, hoping to better understand something I’ve been mentally struggling with for several years. Around five years ago, I began having a deeply distressing memory involving the fear that I may have acted inappropriately toward my younger sister when I was around 13–14 years old. The details are vague, fragmented, and unclear—but ever since this thought first appeared, I’ve treated it as if it were a real event. I’ve carried immense guilt, fear, and anxiety for years, convinced that I must have done something horrible. Despite asking my sister (who remembers absolutely nothing, has never shown signs of discomfort, and has told me more than once that she would’ve spoken up if anything had happened), the doubt and guilt never went away. The memory feels real, yet there is no external confirmation, no direct recall, and no evidence beyond my own mental images and fear. I’ve also struggled with obsessive thoughts in other areas, such as health anxiety since childhood—frequent doctor visits, checking my pulse, obsessing over illness—and only recently learned about false memory OCD, which aligns with my experience. I’m not currently seeking therapy but would greatly appreciate your professional opinion from an educational perspective: Does this sound more like a real memory, or more likely a false memory created by OCD or anxiety-related mechanisms I am stuck between a normal person or a s*xual abuser
- Date posted
- 20w
Hello 😭, so uhm I’m kind of in the point of my POCD where I’m just tired. I just need to get it all out and get some sort of instruction of how to just idk live? So for me my childhood is pretty blurry. I have a few real event blended with false memory events there but other than that I’m a csa victim. And the way I tried to cope? By fetishising nyself, making CP of myself, seeing my life goal as being used, raped and a prostitue. Self destructive behaviour through talking to pedophiles and seeing my only worth as if I was sexually attractive. Which made me kind of numb to CP as a coping mechanism I guess. And heres’s where my main event of REOCD/false memory ocd comes in. I have a few events in my life when I’ve accidentally stumbled across CP ish mangas or just plan abuse and not had a big reaction. Some of them I even liked the story. And my ocd LOVES playing with it, making me truly believe I enjoy and get of from CP. I’ve also had quite a few dreams. A few days ago I had a dream about me getting triggered by something I did in the dream. Which I now can’t figure out if it actually was a dream. But also moments overall where I’ve unintentionally touched my private part while my siblings are in the room or when I found a guy 2 years younger than me pretty in 4th grade. Or a few of my only friends who turned out to be younger than me, and I had talked about sexual things (like fan fictions, my trauma ect) with them. AHSHB I absolutely hate ruminating and I’m tired so so so so so so tried 😭 idk help me? Please TT
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