- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Same, now Iām terrified of internalized homophobia
- Date posted
- 3y
I miss feeling straight too
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
Everyday I wake up, all my mind makes me think of is the stuff Iāve done in the past, like all day Iām in a constant cycle of judging who I used to be and it hurts so so much. I wish I never thought to do those things, I wish I had been more mature than how I was before, itās really lowering my self worth and I donāt think Iāve ever felt this miserable before, like last summer was the worst because I was dealing with this shit, I about almost ended my life over it, and I thought it would get better, which it did, but it didnāt last but for a while. As soon as it became 2025 I was going through it again, having constant cycles of āIām a good personā to āIām the worst person imaginableā and Iām so sick of it because I just want to feel like the good person l like to imagine myself to be, but I canāt because of shit I did in the past that I obsess over. Iāve cried and screamed so much over it and it seems like it will never leave me.
- Date posted
- 18w
I'm going through a rough time. I used to think medication would brighten my world, but if anything, it's muted it. The physical anxiety is less, and I felt okay(ish) for a while, but things are getting bad again. I'm so afraid I'll never get to a point where I feel safe in my body and in my mind. Today is the first day I've cried in... I don't know how long. But I didn't feel the relief I thought I would. Initially, I did, but it morphed into dread, and now I'm sitting by myself, trying not to panic. I really want to begin seeing a therapist for OCD, but I don't know how much my insurance covers. There's just so much on my mind right now. A whole bunch of old themes are resurfacing. I wish I could've been given a different path in life. I'm trying to stay strong. It's just really difficult. I feel like I'm being sent back to square one :(
- Date posted
- 13w
Iāve completely lost myself. I canāt focus on my studies, I canāt go to the gym. Dang it I canāt even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I donāt feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. Itās like itās forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesnāt change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life itās ocd. Iāve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and Iām back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I canāt keep living with this.
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