MARRIAGE I keep hearing “when you know you know” and that phrase makes my OCD spiral out of control. I wonder, “what if I don’t know.. about my boyfriend?” “Do I feel that way?” Etc etc. and I ruminate. I don’t want to get married right now, I don’t feel ready and I worry I will always feel that way as long as I am with my boyfriend. I miss feeling like I could marry him tomorrow and not have one doubt in the world.

I’m obsessing over the future and if my boyfriend and I are going to make it. I know it’s ocd because the thought won’t leave. Discussing the future with my boyfriend makes him very stressed because he is in a difficult family situation. I’m trying my hardest to be patient but I need reassurance that there is a plan and timeline in place. We have been dating for almost two years and I’m not ready to live together but I like discussing it and knowing there’s some form of plan. My ocd gets bad when there is no plan. Are there any thoughts or tips to help?

Getting myself into a spiral trying to figure out if I actually am in love with my boyfriend. Have I just been pretending? How do I know I ACTUALLY love him and not just the idea of him or his love and affection? It just feels like this pressing and intense question lately. I know I can’t solve it by ruminating bc I have been in the same themes for almost 2 years and have never gotten closer to “figuring them out”. Just so hard to stop trying to figure out if I actually love him or not today.

I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.