does anyone else feel like their partner deserves better than u especially because of how the rocd is affecting the relationship ? i have been finding reasons to get upset with my partner which causes arguments and i know it’s only because of the rocd. and he understands completely and he’s fine after everything calms down but i just feel like he deserves so much better than me because i’m not doing well with my rocd

Really struggling today so far. I have partner-focused ROCD so I’m constantly picking apart my partner and looking for warning signs that he doesn’t love me enough and doesn’t want to be with me or care for me. Valentine’s Day is really hard for me because it’s not a huge holiday for the two of us but of course my ROCD takes it and runs with it. It tells me that he doesn’t love me, things won’t get better, he doesn’t care, he’s lazy, he’s the worst boyfriend, etc. This sucks so much because I just want to accept the fact that my brain wants to tell me these things…it is just so hard!!! :(

Does anyone else struggle with object permanence in relationships? Like whenever my partner is out of the house I immediately think negatively or I find things wrong with the relationship or him… For background my partner and I always fight over chores (I know it’s common but it’s annoying) I definitely pull more weight than him and I think he has ADHD, which makes him struggle to help and be aware of helping. Lately we’ve been somewhat good with splitting meals and dishes whatever, I know it can change with work stress, fatigue whatever. But last week my partner was out of the house watching his uncle’s dog so he was barely home. He was sleeping over at his uncles house and would come home for meals sometimes and stuff like that. I started becoming super fixated on him not helping with the dishes before he left and would constantly feel urges to yell about it. Even though the week prior everything was good when it came to that (sometimes with my ROCD I’ll even question myself and be like was it?) so I have started 4 separate fights arguing about dishes and chores and mentioning that he doesn’t help enough and if this continues I’ll have to leave… it’s so hard for me to snap out of it and just realize that he was going back and forth and didn’t think to help because he was busy with helping his uncle. And then I get such a negative view of him in my head that I nitpick his appearance, I make comments, etc, because my underlying fear is he doesn’t care to help, he will never change, and we will fail. So it’s almost like I’m looking to have a reason to run before I actually need to? It’s a constant cycle for me and I’m truly so exhausted by myself. But also relationships are so hard for me because I struggled SO much with trying to depend on others that I almost don’t let myself depend on others…. Any advice is appreciated but also just like do you also experience this? Thank you & pls be kind 🥺🥺🥺

me and my girlfriend since we started dating we be only had one problem, and that is my fear of everything of losing her of her cheating, and it’s all caused by OCD. my texts are massive and i get worried i know i love her and she makes me calm i know i love her. we had a conversation yesterday and basically she said that she feels suffocated with my texts and my fears. she went on trip were she doesn’t have her phone. and yesterday i spent the entire day crying about her. my head is filled with intrusive thoughts. and last night i got so stressed that it seemed like the love went away or i couldn’t remember the love, but it’s impossible because i was crying about her yesterday. this struggle my relationship is having is making me so stressed. pls give me advice