Pocd thoughts. Sometimes I have thoughts of "it's OK if youre a p" or "it's fine if you do bad things to children". And then I'm like... Wth is wrong with me?? Am I the only one?? I don't know if it's my head trying to give me a rest or trying to cope with it... I just... Hate these thoughts!! I don't want to think like this!! Am I alone in this? ;-; I feel so disgusting... I have a gf and I want to be happy with her and these thoughts usually follow that. Or if I'm trying to ruminate... God...

I am 15 years old and my POCD feels like its not POCD, i feel like i like my intrusive thoughts, but i have more intrusive thoughts about having intrusive thoughts, and i feel like i cant enjoy the things i normally enjoy anymore, like calling with my girlfriend and joking with her because this is still in the back of my mind, its making me question morals and if i ever even viewed P as completely wrong and i hate this so much, i love my nieces and nephews and when they're over i know id never do anything with my intrusive thoughts but when they arent present i feel like i like my thoughts. Before this i was dealing with HOCD and ROCD and i wish i could go back to that

so I’ve been seeking therapy for my OCD for a few years. The theme that I’ve been dealing with most recently is the fear of becoming a pedophile, which then has led to intrusive images of me doing things to kids.Which now is just causing me so much distress and 24/7 constant thought cycle. I am starting to not be able to tell the difference between thoughts that are wanted/ unwanted- the line has become some blurry and these things are starting to feel like someothing i want to do. My brain keeps telling me to just test these thoughts and the “maybe”or”i don’t know” isn’t working. This has become such a barrier because the second layer is that I’m afraid that if I just let the thoughts be there it’ll make me be OK with doing those things and the fear is what’s keeping me from actually doing something inappropriate. It’s also transitioned into intrusive thoughts and images of me doing something very disgusting to my dog and that when I’m cuddling with him I get the thoughts to just do it or try it to see if i am actually a p*do. it’s almost like the compulsion would be to do the inappropriate thing, even though I know it’s wrong just to see how it would make me feel. I feel like i can’t control these urges even though i’ve never acted on it. At any point i could just do it. I’ve never had these thoughts before up until about a year and a half ago when my friend‘s boyfriend got arrested for soliciting a minor then all these thoughts came to life.Has anyone experienced something like this and have any advice?

I know I'm not attracted to children, there's no proof I am and no indication that I am. Yet why do I still get these sexual intrusive thoughts? Why do I still feel so uncomfortable? Why do I feel disgusting, distressed and confused when I get them? Why do I get them in the first place yet I still don't feel anxious enough? I'm really confused about this. I'm not going to do anything to a child or think of a child that way yet at the same time It gets all over in my mind. Is it just me like uncovering some attraction to children that was buried and where would it even come from I've always been attracted to men that are older than me (not like grandpas or something but 1-6 years older) so why the hell am I even getting these thoughts now? I'm genuinely so confused and I don't want this to happen. It feels I'm betraying everyone especially myself