I get those thoughts too..: it’s like our POCD is trying to find some way to make us triggered.
Not alone. These thoughts could be intrusive, and most likely are. The one thing that really helped me was treating these thoughts like fucked up jokes. When a thought would appear, responding with something like “damn that’s crazy” or “that’s wild” really took the legitimacy away from the thoughts, but leaning into the fear and disgust and letting it make its way through without compulsions is the only way to get over this shit!