Why is my brain making me think the shit that I was never okay with, it’s okay now when I know it’s NOT like my Brian convinces me it’s good but it’s not 😭 wtf I feel like my brain really betraying me here

My brain is making me feel like I wanna do the harm to my family … and is questioning how haven’t I done it yet like wtf??? My thoughts sound crazy

Why is my mind saying I should say my thoughts out loud and that it will be ok, I don't want to because it goes against my beliefs and it freaks me out because my mind is like you've done this and this an other bad things this can't hurt you, saying it will give you peace and it just randomly started yesterday and idk what to do. It's like I have no will power to want to stop it's like my mind wants me to say it and idk what to do.

Does anyone else’s OCD convince them that bad thoughts are not actually that bad…. Like I know they are so why do I feel like they arent😭😭