Why do I think I look gay. I even hate looking in the mirror sometimes 😞

I’m trying to live with uncertainty but it doesn’t feel right. The “I may or may not be bi/gay” really sucks because I can’t stop ruminating, analyzing, or checking. This especially sucks because I feel like literally EVERYTHING in my life leads to the fact that I’m a fraud which feels horrible. I can’t even talk to my friends the way I used to without feeling like I’m lying about myself. The false attraction and loss of attraction to men is literally horrible because now I feel like the life i fantasized for myself isn’t something I want.

The thoughts are real? I have so ocd I really think I’m gay.

I was normally in the bathroom.when i glanced on the mirror,you know,when ur face looks good on the mirror and u start looking at yourself? Suddenly,like an inner opinion, it said “your face will look hotter as a boy”. Its not he first time i had this voice,everytime i look at myself it come and i will never understand why its here.i ignore it everytime to not make another new theme ocd because im so tired of my hocd,but this time I can’t ignore,its annoying.